15 Things Wives Can Do To Win The Heart Of Her Husband

couple-495273_1920Wives I am asking you to give me a chance and listen to God’s heart beat in this message. I understand a lot of marriages are lacking communication, connection and closeness. Some of this is due to not understanding the male and female love language, some of this has to due with a lack of understanding of our roles in a biblical marriage and some of it has to do with not recognizing intruders that have entered into the marriage covenant and some of it is due to not taking the time to talk and invest in having a great marriage.

This is such a sensitive subject to talk about because there are no two marriages alike.

I know there are always 2 sides to every story, but 2 wrongs do not make it right either. I am called to women, not men, so wives, I will be talking to you only. I will be encouraging you to play your role even if your husband is not playing his. I know how frustrating and exhausting this can be but you are asking for closeness, connection and to be cherished in your marriage, someone has to be willing to be uncomfortable to make your marriage like God has ordained it and really, God is asking that to be you. God said, your husband can be won over by your conduct. I will share the scripture with you before I end this blog post.pexels-photo-241328.jpegI am only talking to Christian women who believes in biblical marriage, trust me, I am not there yet but my aim and my goal is to live a Christ centered marriage and do it God’s way and not the worlds way. Like a fish out of water my flesh flip and flop sometimes as well.

Ladies before I get into this topic, my only goal is to partner with God to see the marriage covenant restored and to see wives feeling connected to her own husband.

I am only advocating healthy biblical submissiveness. I am not advocating a husband usurping his authority in a harmful abusive way.

I have an honest heartfelt confession, I am in love with my own husband, I am happy with my husband and I am happy in my marriage, even with that being said, we still need to address things that comes up in our marriage that needs to be discussed. One does not have a great marriage through avoidance, you have to talk about the issues that is on your heart. You can not hide things in your heart and expect to have a good marriage.

I am so grateful to have my husband in my life. God has blessed me with an amazing man. He is not perfect and guess what? Neither am I, but that does not take from the fact that he is amazing!14419664378_a95c1284ff_o.jpgAnd it is not because he makes me happy all of the time. I have decided that I am going to be happy in my life period. Do I have things that comes up that wants me to lose my joy? Yes I do, and sometimes I have to remind myself, this is not that serious, do not lose your joy over this and it is a constant reminder. I have decided that my happiness is not based in if my husband do everything right to make me happy. That is to much pressure for one person.

I have made many mistakes in my marriage. After 17 years of being married to my husband, I have learned a lot and will be learning until Jesus come back.

So I am setting my fears aside so I can help the wife who will listen. Some of the things I share with you, you probably are not going to agree with, but I can not run any longer about discussing real issues that are happening in marriages today.

If I am going to partner with God to see wives restored in their heart and their marriages, I have to deal with truth as it is shown to me in my heart. This is the take on marriage that God has given me to share.

I will expose the works of darkness as God downloads it in my spirt. I absolutely love the marriage union and I know God loves it as well. As I have listen to God minister to me about marriage, I realized that I had some very wrong distorted views about marriage.

Our husbands are very different from one another and what my husband needs most, your husband my not even care about, so I will admonish you to get to know your own husband, and do not base what your husband do against what someone else’s husband does.pexels-photo-256737But what I hope to help you with today is 15 things that every wife can do to win the heart of her own husband.

I can tell when a woman is not satisfied or content in her marriage or with herself, because she is always seeking outside of her marriage and herself for attention and conversation from someone else’s husband or to get notice by other men that is not her husband.

She tries to fill up her emptiness with shopping, working, giving all of her attention to her children, volunteering and just plain avoidance. She does not want to deal with the real issues that are going on in her heart and her marriage.

I agree with you, you should not leave this earth unfulfilled in your marriage. That is why you have to do everything with in your power to fight for the connection with your very own spouse, so if God forbids, if it falls apart, it is not because you did not give your all to your marriage.

Wives fight for connection from your own husband, seek attention from the one you chose to marry, any attention outside of that is a counterfeit replacement of the real and true love you could be experiencing from your own spouse.

Now like I said, this blog post is not for every married woman, you might not agree with some of the things that I share with you. This blog post is only for the married women who is NOT dealing with mental and physical abuse, cheating, drugs, alcohol and gambling addiction. If you are dealing with these issue, serious counseling is what you need because you my beautiful sister have to make choices that is going to keep you safe inside and out.

There is not one marriage that is perfect on the earth because there are no two people that are perfect. But marriage can be amazing if you are tuned in to your own marriage and not comparing your marriage to anyone else’s and if you can try to love and give your husband lots of grace, forgiveness, compassion and always focusing on his good qualities.character-1797362_1920I know communication can be hard in a marriage sometimes because in marriage one of you is either the confronter and the other person is usually the one who runs away from confrontation. But then again, you can have two people in a marriage that never confronts the issues that is going on in their marriage, therefore, making it very hard to talk about issues that needs to addressed in marriage.

I want to encourage wives not to shut down because you feel like your are not getting any real results. I want to encourage wives not to throw in the towel and walk away. I want to encourage wives not to grow bitter inside and hold unforgiveness towards their husband because you are feeling unappreciated, unfulfilled, neglected and unloved.

What I am going to encourage you to do is keep talking to your husband until you are heard, keep confronting intruders until they are destroyed, stay in prayer for your husband, your marriage and your family and keep fighting for a amazing marriage.

Make sure that you have done your part to ensure that you have a godly covenant before God and your husband. I do not proclaim to have all the answers, nor am I a marriage counselor. But sometimes it will take you going to a professional counselor to talk through the issue in your marriage. I would recommend a trusted Christian Counselor or Pastor.

I think some wives forgot how to make themselves happy, perhaps you have never been truly happy within yourself, especially if you never been single long enough to enjoy your own company. Some women always needed someone in their life to complete them.

Now there is a difference between

1. Down right disrespect and your husband acting like he does not have a commitment to your marriage by spending quality time with you and investing the time and attention that it takes to have a close healthy godly marriage.

verses,

2. You learning to enjoy your own company in the absence of your husband. There should always be sweet fellowship between the two of you, a coming back together to talk about your day and to reconnect emotionally, physically and spiritually.pexels-photo-28914.jpgYou should never allow anyone who claims to love you and have a covenant with you to get away with living a sloppy married life. Marriage is an investment and you are worth the investment it takes to ensure you have a respectful loving Godly covenant where the both of you are reaping the full benefits of your covenant.

What hurts my heart more than anything is to see a woman in her marriage covenant feeling lonely, helpless, defeated, cheated on, disrespected, afraid to speak up for herself and feeling like she is not valued in her marriage…….

Feeling like she can’t take care of her self, feeling trapped, devalued, not beautiful, not beneficial, feeling like she is not an equal partner with her husband and not knowing her covenant rights in her marriage.

I want to warn you against intruders, intruders are things, people and schedules that wants to replace true devotion with your spouse, with false devotions.

Intruders can creep in and still your covenant, your time and your marriage if your are not in tuned with the Holy Spirit.

Intruders never know the value of a godly covenant. They come in disguises, they come in things that seems important.

Intruders also wants you to be intimidated by them and they want you to keep it uncover. Intruders never want you to confront them or call them out on their undercover behavior.

Intruders are working to many long hours, always volunteering to many long hours to a worthy cause, social media, lustful under cover seducing women and men proverbs 9:13-18  has a lot to say about this.

Intruders can come in through always shopping, gambling, people pleasing and addictions of every kind.baseball-player-running-sport-163209Intruders comes in being to involved with what the children have going on more than pouring back into your husband.

Intruders comes in through spending long hours in the gym, more than you are spending time at home. Intruders comes in by watching to much sports and reality TV, and spending to much time with your extended family rather than your own husband. The Bible clearly states that we are to leave and cleave.

So we have to keep addressing issues in our marriages that are trying to keep us from investing into our marriage, things that are creeping in and trying to destroy the marriage covenant. We have to keep talking and fighting for our marriage because there are so many things that are calling for our attention and trying to lure us away from our marriages.

I want wives to know that you have a lot of influence in your marriage. You can use that influence for good or you can use that influence to tare down your home and marriage. The bible has a lot to say about the influence of a wife. Down below I listed some.

Proverbs 14:1 The wise woman builds her house, but with her own hands the foolish one tears hers down.

Proverbs 31:10-12
An excellent wife, who can find? For her worth is far above jewels. The heart of her husband trusts in her, and he will have no lack of gain. She does him good and not evil all the days of her life.…

Proverbs 24:3
By wisdom a house is built, and by understanding it is established.

Proverbs 5:6
Adulterous woman does not ponder the path of life; her ways are unstable, she does not know it.

Proverb 9:13 ISV
The foolish woman is loud, undisciplined, and without knowledge.

Proverbs 7:11 She is boisterous and rebellious, her feet do not remain at home;pexels-photo-256735Proverbs 21:19 It is better to dwell in the wilderness, than with a contentious and an angry woman.

Proverbs 12:4 A virtuous woman is a crown to her husband: but she that makes ashamed is like rottenness in his bones.

Proverbs 25:24 It is better to dwell in the corner of the housetop, than with a brawling woman in a wide house.

Proverbs 27:15,16 A continual dropping in a very rainy day and a contentious woman are alike.

Proverbs 15:17 ISV A vegetarian meal served with love is better than a big, thick steak with a plateful of animosity.

Proverbs 17:1 Better is a dry morsel, and quietness therewith, than a house full of feasting with strife.

Wives it will never benefit you to give the silent treatment to your husband, nor talking to him unkindly, sarcastic, talking down to him and being disrespectful to your husband. The only results it will yield is to push your husband farther away from you and towards intruders.

Now I do believe there is a time for silence when the conversation is heated and emotions are high, a time out break is needed until you can come back together and talk maturely.

I have been married going on 17 years and I am still learning what works and what do not work for my marriage.pexels-photo-299863.jpeg I know it takes two people to make the marriage work. It can be very easy to check out on your marriage if you feel like you have been the one during all the work to keep your marriage together.

I want to present to you the biblical way of loving your husband. Wives, you have to take your emotions out of the situations. I do understand God created you as the weaker vessel. I know your feeling can get hurt easily. I know wives try to give their all to keep the connection with their husband but I am going to encourage you to try even harder than you’ve been trying. Push yourself more than you have ever pushed yourself before.

Yes, I am asking you to set aside all that you think you know and pick up a biblical  perspective in loving your husband. I am asking you to set your feeling aside and your emotions aside and fight for the connection with your husband.

I want you to ask yourself could it be me and not him, matter of fact, I want you to do everything in your power to serve him from your heart. Do it to the glory of God and allow God to reward you. If your husband give you praise let it be a bonus on top of the praise that God has already given you. Just tell your husband thank you. It pleases the Lord that you are loving on his son. Do not look to your husband to give you validation, because you will give up if you do not see quick results.

I want you to have a happy attitude while serving your husband, I want you to do it like you would if someone was giving you 5,000 dollars for doing a good job. Guard your heart against complaining.

Serve your husband to the glory of God because this is your first ministry. You are his help mate.

Help mate:
1. a companion and helper.
2. a spouse.
3. anything that aids or assists, especially regularly:

I don’t know if you actually knew what you signed up for when you said your marriage vowels to him but lets delve even further.

companion
1. a person or animal with whom one spends a lot of time or with whom one travels.
“his traveling companion” synonyms: friend, sidekick,  confidant, pal, chum, buddy, mate and peeps.

2. one of a pair of things intended to complement or match each other.
synonyms: complement, counterpart, twin, match; plane.jpgI do know you probably have a lot of responsibility on your plate like the kids, a job, the home, your relationship with God, your friends, maybe taking care of a family member, your volunteer work and then your husband.

He was never meant to be last but he was always meant to be first after your relationship with God and taking care of yourself physically, emotionally and spiritually so you can give out to everyone else, your husband is one of the most important person in your life and he should be treated as such. Even if you feel like he is not during his part.

Since you agreed to be his wife, you agreed to help him in any capacity he needs you to help him in. You are called to aid and assist him regularly, you are called to spend a lot of to time with him being his friend. You are called to travel with him, you are called to be his companion, his buddy, his pal. You are called to complement him or match him. You are called to be his peeps, twin, counterpart, chum and his mate.

Now these are just dictionary definitions of some of the things you signed up for when you agreed to be his wife. The Bible has so much more to say about your role as his wife. When you agreed to marry him, your body became his and his body became yours. You are called to give him pleasure sexually when ever he needs it.

There is something about knowing that a person really and truly love you, it is very hard to ignore it. So ask yourself have you been murmuring and complaining and shutting down and being bitter and having unforgiveness towards your husband because he is not taking care of you and not meeting your needs the way you need him to.

Have you really been giving your all in your marriage. I am not trying to set your feelings aside, I just want you to evaluate your actions as well. Ok wives, I am talking to myself as well.

If you do have an agenda God has called you to, make sure your husband is taken care of first. Prove to him that he is number one. Biblically you are called to assist him first. I know it sounds unfair but that is how it is done in the kingdom. This is not to make wives feel guilty, we all fall short and none of us are perfect, but we are asking for more in our marriages, are we giving more as well?pexels-photo-237372Have we as wives neglected our God given responsibilities to our husband and replace them with everyone else needs and concerns first? Have we put our own agendas and others agenda before our husband’s? Are we becoming bitter, complaining and getting angry at them about being their wife and the role we are suppose to be playing in their life?

Are they really first in our lives like we want to believe that they are?

We are called to assist them in what ever they need assistance in.

1 Peter 3:1-5 – Likewise, ye wives, [be] in subjection to your own husbands; that, if any obey not the word, they also may without the word be won by the conversation of the wives;  While they behold your chaste conversation [coupled] with fear.
Whose adorning let it not be that outward [adorning] of plaiting the hair, and of wearing of gold, or of putting on of apparel;
But [let it be] the hidden man of the heart, in that which is not corruptible, [even the ornament] of a meek and quiet spirit, which is in the sight of God of great price.
For after this manner in the old time the holy women also, who trusted in God, adorned themselves, being in subjection unto their own husbands:

This scripture is telling you do this for your own husband and not someone else’s husband. Don’t find some other man more fascinating than your own husband. Some women would compliment someone else’s husband but not their own. It is not your business to try and get to know someone else’s husband or be curious about what he does. Be curious about your own husband find out more about him. The Bible talks about the simple minded woman, she seeks attention from someone else’s husband. She goes about trying to lure men that she do not have a covenant with. What she is really doing is committing adultery in her heart. I noticed that the scripture up top says be in subjection to your own husband. Even if your husband is not giving you the attention that you need stay loyal in your heart before God.

I don’t know all that you have been going through in your marriage and I know it can be very scary to let your guards down and become very vulnerable to your husband.

But I am asking you to fight for your marriage. I am asking you to put your emotions and your feeling aside and open your self up to loving your husband again, just like Jesus loves you when you constantly mess up or fall short with him. I am asking you to give your husband lots of grace and forgiveness. pexels-photo-288008.jpegI am going to share ways you can win the heart of your husband. I am going to ask you to be patient with the process before you see any results. You might see your husband heart turn in a week or you might not see your husband heart turn towards you for months. You are not perfect and you might mess up, get frustrated, and want to throw in the towel. When you do, just ask God for forgiveness and apologize to your husband for they way you disrespected him.

Serve your husband like you were serving King Jesus. The Bible says, “let him who wants to be the greatest, let him become your servant and whoever wants to be first be your slave.” Well wives, I know we can feel like we are slaves and maids sometimes.

But when you shift your mind to serving your husband because it is your 1st ministry, and serve your husband like you are serving in your own personal ministry, your children, your job because your name is out there and you put your heart into it because you want it to go well, and you do not want to look bad, and you want to serve the people God has called you to and you want God to be proud of you, is the same way you should put your heart and soul into serving your husband.

Sometimes this ministry don’t come with accolades and sometimes you may feel like you are getting the short end of the stick but I am a true believer that if you be diligent and do it to the glory of God. God will reward you and make sure you are well taken care of.

Matthew 20:25 Jesus called them together and said, “You know that the rulers of the Gentiles lord it over them, and their high officials exercise authority over them. Not so with you. Instead, whoever wants to become great among you must be your servant, and whoever wants to be first must be your slave just as the Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve and to give his life as a ransom for many.” 

I want to bring special attention to why am I asking you to serve your husband like you are serving Jesus. Because in 1 Peter 3:1-5  it reads, Likewise, ye wives, [be] in subjection to your own husbands; that, if any obey not the word, they also may without the word be won by the conversation of the wives; While they behold your chaste conversation [coupled] with fear.

God is saying just by you obeying and following the word of God, by speaking kindly to him, putting him first, being very respectful to him, loving on him, encouraging him, assisting him and serving him. Your husband is going to be won over to you by your good conduct.couple-254683_1920.jpgSo let me share 15 things wives can do to win the heart of her own husband.

  1. Respect him, Respect is huge for men, they thrive off of it.
  2. Talk kindly to him. I know sometimes husband are not as sensitive as they should be but talk kindly to him, instead of leashing back out to hurt his feeling, men are more frail than you think and can shut down after being disrespected.
  3. Be his friend, sit down and watch the game with him, get to know the things he like and do them with him often, spend time with him just running errands. Men love for their wives to hang out with them and spend time with him.
  4. Be willing to do what he ask of you without murmuring and complaining. Have a good attitude while serving him. Assist him in what ever he needs assistant in if it is not going to cause you to sin.
  5. All men do not require this, but be willing to cook him a good meal and serve it to him, it makes him feel taken care of. If he is the one during the cooking, then fix him a plate and serve it to him.
  6. Forgive him often and give him lots of grace.
  7. Compliment him and encourage him especially in front of others, always find something good to say about him. Tell him how proud you are to be married to him. Try not to speak negatively about your husband to no one.
  8. Smile at him often, let him know that you are happy, your husband would try to keep that smile on your face.
  9. Date your husband, keep things exciting and creative. Don’t wait for him to be creative, you do it.
  10. Make passionate love to him often, all the time, as much as he likes it.
  11. Do not correct him in front of the kids.
  12. Keep your appearance up and smell good for him.
  13. Be grateful. Tell him thank you, often, for the nice things you see him do.
  14. Pray for him all the time.
  15. Treat him like a King and help make life easy for him in anyway you can. 

I know this seems like a lot but God’s grace is sufficient for you, take it one step at a time. What is one thing you can do today that would bring the connection between you and your husband closer together?

Would love to hear from you, so leave a comment, like and subscribe to Breakthrough Blog 4 Women. Follow me on Instagram  and follow me on my social media links down below.

Coach Angie!

http://www.noboundariesbtc.com

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5 Spiritual Laws That Will Change Your Life, If You Practice Them!

pexels-photo-112641Through out this journey called life, you will receive little messages. If you are reading this blog post today, I believe I wrote this blog post just for you. It is not by accident that you clicked on “Breakthrough Blog 4 Women.” I believe our paths was meant to cross. There is something that you need to know in this article that will help you on your life’s journey.

I want to share with you 5 spiritual laws that is going to make a big difference in your life if you implement them.

These principles can set you free from those who you have been allowing to control your life, they can set you free from yourself, and they can set you free from your past and show you how go into your future with a new mindset.

If you implement this first principle alone you will sleep like a baby tonight.

mandela

Principle #1 The Law of Forgiveness

The Law of Forgiveness states, “in order for God to forgive you, you have to for give others.” Mark 11:25 ESV

In order for things to change in your life, you have to forgive anyone who has ever hurt you, violated you and offended you. You have to forgive yourself for not always making the best choices for your life. You have to forgive God for any unanswered prayers, any disappointment you may be feeling and for not protecting you from someone who violated you.

When our life has not worked out the way we think it should have, we play the blame game and hold unforgiveness in our heart towards the people or things that violated us.

All of those negative emotions that you are feeling inside your heart, the pain that you are feeling and even some sickness, has a lot to do with you not forgiving.

When you forgive someone, you are doing it for your sake so you can be free. We think if we do not hold people hostage, we are letting them off the hook and saying it is ok what you’ve done to me.

No, it is never ok for someone to violate you, but your refusal to forgive them is keeping you unhappy and bitter. Some of the addictions that you have is because you use it to cover the pain of what was done to you. You have to release it, so your life can prosper and you can find peace. Allow God to fight on your behalf.

Romans 12:19 ESV Beloved, never avenge yourselves, but leave it to the wrath of God, for it is written, “Vengeance is mine, I will repay, says the Lord.”

You have to forgive yourself, you are worthy to be forgiven. Sometimes we have a hard time forgiving others because we hold ourselves at such a high standard. We need to learn to give forgiveness to ourselves. So what, you made a bad choice, just ask for forgiveness and move on. Tell yourself, ” I forgive you for not being perfect.” You deserve mercy and you deserve grace, please give it to yourself.

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Principle #2 The Law of Thinking

The Law of thinking states that, “whatever you hold in your in mind, in a habitual way, becomes your reality in time.”

If you can control your thoughts, you can control your life! You have to master your thought life.

Research shows that the human mind has more than 50,000 to 70,000 thoughts a day. Others too believe that 70% to 80% of the human thoughts are negative.

You can always tell what a person is really thinking, just listen to his or her conversations. I recommend you buy the book by James Allen “As a Man Thinketh” it will change your life.

For example, someone hurt you and you make up in your mind that you are going to forgive them. It takes faith to forgive, but the thoughts of them hurting you keep playing over and over in our mind. How do you think you are going to react to that person when you see them again if you do not cast down those thoughts? Probably not so good, because you have played it over and over in our mind how they hurt you.

You must capture every thought before it lodges in your mind and takes residence. One of the ways I control my thoughts is by stopping it before it enters. This can be very tricky at first because you are used to allowing anything in your thoughts. This will require lots of effort on your part. You can not be lazy. You have to really focus.

It is like playing a game, your job is to not let the thoughts enter at all, and the thoughts entering wants to catch you off guard, so it can set up camp by taking over your thoughts and feeding your mind with lies, fear, and unforgiveness. What you think about and meditate on, you will eventually act out.

If you can train your thoughts and block the negative chatter before it enters, and replace it with a positive thought, you can change your life, to one of peace, happiness and abundance.

This is what I do when a negative thought tries to enter my mind, as soon as I recognize it is as a negative thought, I cast that thought down and then I replace it with what I want to see happen.

Make sure your thoughts are lining up with only what you want to see come into your life because it will take you places only you can dream of, and that goes for thoughts of negativity or positivity.

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Principle #3 The Law of Your Confession

The Law of confession states that, “Life and death are in the power of your tongue and those who love it will eat its fruit.” Proverbs 18:21

I want you to really get this principle. Words carry energy,  before you release them out of your mouth, make sure you think about what kinds of results you want them to bring to you.

Your words alone can change your life. If you have never paid attention to your words and the things that are coming out of your mouth, today is the day you will become aware of how your words have impacted your life!

Your words and your thoughts are in direct correlation to each other, that is way you have to gain control of your thoughts because it come out in your words. But you can have a wrong thought and reject it by the power of your words.

For example, you have a thought to come across your mind, I am not smart enough to past this test. Use the power of your words to speak to your thought and make it obey what you want it to do. Do not allow that thought to be spoken out of your mouth. Speak opposite of what that thought want you to do or say, and say it over and over again. Say out of your mouth, I am going to pass this test. Never speak of what you don’t want to show up in your life.

Proverbs 18-21 says that with the fruit of a man’s mouth his stomach will be satisfied; He will be satisfied with the product of his lips. 

Speaking only of what you love will combat all negativity. Take a moment to pay attention to what keeps showing up in your life that you are not happy with. Could it be because you are using your mouth to tear it down by speaking of what you don’t want to show up? But remember, the only way you can change your words is to change what you are thinking about.

confession

Principle #4 The Law of Belief

The Law of Belief states that, “you get out of your life what you truly believe you can receive.” Rather you believe you can have something or not, you are working the law of belief.

Mark 11:24 ESV Therefore I tell you, whatever you ask in prayer, believe that you have received it, and it will be yours.

You have to believe in yourself and you have to believe in the words that your are speaking over yourself because it does not matter what they say, it only matters what you say and what you think about yourself.

No one has the power to stop you from becoming great only you have the power to stop yourself from becoming great or achieving anything in your life. But you have got to believe in yourself so much that you believe in your own hype.

How was I able to change the negative inner dialogue that I was having with myself? By taking on the words that God said about me first, and then getting in front of the mirror and changing the negative inner dialogue that I was having with myself.

At first this is going to seem silly, but you have to become obsessed with it until you believe it, and then your action is going to line up with what you think about yourself.

There will be negative chatter all around you, trying to make you feel like you don’t belong. We live in a culture where others want you to feel inferior to them. You have no one to be afraid of. Hold your head up high you are royalty, it came with you when you were born. You were never meant to blend in with the crowd you was always created to shine and sparkle. You were never created like anyone else, so why are you trying to be just like everybody else?

You have your own uniqueness, talents, gifting and skills. You have your own finger print. That is an indicator that you were not suppose to be like others. There is something so special about what you were so uniquely designed to do, that even if you had the same talent as someone else, you would put your own spin on it.

Your looks, your race and your genes were created just for you. You are a gift to this world. but if you don’t embrace who are and be proud of where you come from, we are never going experience your brilliance because you don;t think you have what it takes. So celebrate being different and stand out and shine!

pexels-photo-128899.jpegPrinciple # 5 The Law of Reciprocity  

The Law of Reciprocity states, “whenever you say anything that causes people to feel better about themselves, they have a deep unconscious need to reciprocate.”

Matthew 7:12 – Therefore all things whatsoever ye would that men should do to you, do ye even so to them: for this is the law and the prophets.

The reverse is also true in that, if you do something that hurts others, they will feel the need to hurt you back as well, so be careful how you treat others and how you talk to others.

You never know why a person is treating you the way they are treating you, it could be is because you have treated them certain way. You probably won’t get it back from the person you have treated bad or good, it probably would come back from someone total different.

Luke 6:31 – And as ye would that men should do to you, do ye also to them likewise.

We have a deep psychological need to be even with others. If a person does something for you, we feel a need to get even by doing something nice in return.

There comes a time in everyones life when you have to pay attention to what keep showing up in your life, I mean you really have to stop and look at the choices that you are making that is causing particular result in your life.

I don’t know if you know it or not, but you have the power to change the direction in which your life is headed. I am going to say this to you again. I don;t know if you know it or not but you have the power to change the direction in which your life is headed

So you be the first to put this law in order,

Mark 12:31 – And the second [is] like, [namely] this, Thou shalt love thy neighbour as thyself. There is none other commandment greater than these.

Have a grateful heart towards everyone you meet, and treat everyone with kindness and respect you never know who God will use to get you to the next level or to help you.

The Law of Reciprocity could be as simple as is you holding the door for someone, being kind and considerate, giving some one a worthy compliment, being respectful to authority, respecting the rights of others, helping someone out by lending a helping hand, talking to others with respect, making sure you are operating out of positivity and always coming from a good place.

I hope this 5 Spiritual Laws have blessed you. Leave me a comment, like this blog post and subscribe to my blog Breakthrough Blog 4 Women. Come on over to my social media page to let me encourage you to a beautiful life! Click my social media links down below this article. Click here to find me on Instagram  Check Out a book I wrote called 25 Attitudes You Must Have For a Breakthrough! It is going propel to live a better and beautiful life, this book is truly life changing If you purchase it today I will give you a special discount price just click the BUY NOW link to receive your special discount price up to 30% off.

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COACH ANGIE!

http://www.noboundariesbtc.com

She Still Got It! It Has Always Been There!

She is still in there, that same woman who use to laugh until she cried, shopped until she dropped and use to have a lot of fun during the things that brought her joy.

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Like, dancing and singing and visiting the local boutiques. Designing and decorating, and going to the coffee house and having a cup of coffee or tea. Spending all day at the bookstores and checking out the latest must reads, magazines and journals. Hanging out with her friends and catching up on the latest, whats going on in everyone’s life. Finding new recipes and trying them out and having potlucks so everyone can try each other dishes and just enjoying life! She is still there.

She just got buried, under all the responsibilities she had on her plate. She just got buried, with cares of her life. She just got buried, under the negative chatter that fed her thoughts with lies, telling her that she had lost it, her beauty, her charm, her charisma and the romance, connection, communication and the attention in her marriage.

She just got buried, under her superwoman exterior that she puts on everyday. She just got buried, under hormonal imbalance. She just got buried, under her emotional eating to numb the pain of her dreams laying dormant inside her, she just got buried, under going to the same unfulfilling job that she goes to everyday. She just got buried, under the same old routine that does not have spontaneity in it. She just got buried, under giving to everybody else and not giving back to herself.

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She just got buried, with the grief of a loved one passing, she just got buried, under living with a sickness or disease in her body. She just got buried, under going through a divorce. She just got buried, under living with loneliness, envy, bitterness, unforgiveness and rejection.

She just got buried, under being a wife, mom, a daughter, a teacher, a caretaker, a boss, a sister, a friend, a leader and an influencer. She just got buried.

BUT SHE IS STILL IN THERE! 

She is still vibrant, and alive. She still have that twinkle in her step and a sparkle in her eyes. She is still just as attractive, sexy, alluring and confident as she was when she was in her 20s’ and 30s’. She still have that same laugh on the inside of her, that when she laughed so hard, her belly tighten and tears rolled down her face.

Give her a reason to have joy again. Give her permission to live again. Take your mind back from anyone and anything that is making you feel like you can’t breathe. Make yourself first priority! Invest in you again. Love on you again! Stop those sabotaging thoughts that you take on everyday and give them back to the devil! No more having self-pity and feeling sorry for yourself.

Girl, you have got to get up and live again. You stopped caring about what makes you truly happy! Pick back up those things that once brought you joy! Take care of yourself.

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Start with a simply spa treatment, in your own bath tub. Buy you a big luxury bar of moisturizing body soap, and click this link to get a spa treatment formula.

Schedule your life and include you as top priority, right under spending time with God. Write out a list of all the things you love doing and include those things in your schedule. I hear you saying, I don’t have enough time to do that. That is why you are creating  a schedule for yourself, because you get to choose what you want to do and how you want your day to go.

Yes, schedule your responsibilities in your schedule as well, but if something comes up that conflicts with your me time, say no to it. In fact, I want you to cut the phone off when you are doing something for yourself. You are in an important meeting and will not be able to answer the phone. Let your family know that you have decided to start taking care of yourself properly and you would not be available to answer the phone until you are done with your appointment. They would love you more for taking care of yourself, because they will have a new happier healthy woman in their life.

In your time spent with God, pour your heart out to him, If you do not journal, now is a good time to start journaling because you are going to have different emotions that are going to be surfacing and you are going to need to talk to God about these different emotions and you are going to have to be honest with yourself.

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In prayer with God and writing in your journal is a good place to pour your heart out to him. You are getting clear about what is causing you discontentment. Admit it to God and yourself. Admit everything to him. Do not hold back. Sometimes we as women feel guilty that we are feeling a certain way about a situation and we never deal with what is causing us to feel this way because we think it is wrong to be having such strong emotions but God already knows how you feel, so do not try to hide it from him, and do not try to hide the emotions from yourself.

Another thing I would like for you to do is, after you have explored what is causing you stress, unhappiness, lost of joy, not feeling alive in your life and discontentment, I want you to answer these questions, what do I need to do to feel better about this situation? What do I really want? How do I really want to feel? When the answers come to you, work towards implementing the answers you receive right away!

I want you to start back reading books on the areas in your life that you want to improve in, for example, if you want to start back looking and dressing fashionable, go on Pinterest.com and look at pictures of fashion that ladies your age are wearing. You can go to your local book store and buy fashion magazines or go to the library and check out fashion book and magazines. You can also go on Youtube.com and type in the search button the topic your are interested in.

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You can do this with any area of your life you want to improve in, I would advise you first go to the Bible and see what Gods word says about the subject and then look at other sources that is Biblically sound. You can do this to improve your communication, sex life, attractiveness and connection with your husband. You can read books about marriage, how to forgive, your appearance, how to put yourself first so you can be alive to take care of others around you, healthy eating and natural things you can do to cure certain diseases, pray and fasting, working out ect.

The goal here is for you to get your sparkle back and for you to truly feel alive in your life. I wrote a book that I know will truly motivate you and encourage you to find your sparkle and shine again! You will truly be encouraged to find your joy and truly live again! It is called “25 Attitudes You Must Have for a Breakthrough” it is only 14.97 and you can have access to it the moment you purchase it! It is a digital download. You can start right away feeling back in control of your life. That is less than 15.00 to change your life forever.

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6 Principles Single Ladies Need To Have In Place To Attract Boaz/Principle #4

Ladies we finally made it to principle #4 which is

HAVING TRUE CONFIDENCE!

Please click the links in green to read the previous principles.

Principle #1, What you need to be and what he needs you to be

Principle #2, Enjoying your own company

Principle #3, The baggage of bitterness, hatred, strife, and unforgiveness,

Principle #3, The baggage of jealousy, envy, covetousness and strife

Principle #3 The baggage of “sexual sins and the spirit of lust and seduction”

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Confidence by dictionary.com means: full trust; belief in the powers, trustworthiness, or reliability of a person or thing. A feeling of trust in a person or thing. 2. Belief in one’s own abilities; self-assurance .

True confidence comes only when you have faith in God, and faith in who God says that you are and what he created you to be, period. This is the foundation of true confidence.

I am going to keep this principle real simple for you, and if you can just believe it, your mindset will shift from what you thought confidence was, to having real and true confidence that came with you from the moment you were born.

In other words, if your confidence is in anything other than you knowing who you are in God and who God created you to be, it is false confidence.

True confidence is not based on your looks, race, color, hair, body shape, how much money you have, your educational background, how many degrees you have, what kind of car you drive, how big your house is, if you are married, if your are single, it is not based in how many kids you birth or what neighborhood you live in and how many business you own. These are the things that the world place there confidence in.

All of the things that I just named are external, and when your self esteem is wrapped around the external things, when they are taken away from you, your confidence and self-esteem are taken away as well.

Romans 12:3-11
“For I say, through the grace given to me, to everyone who is among you, not to think of himself more highly than he ought to think, but to think soberly, as God has dealt to each one a measure of faith.

Lack of confidence comes when you do not believe in your own abilities, when you do not believe in your own greatness, when you do not know the power that have been given to you by God. Lack of confidence comes when someone have said things about you that is contrary to the word of God or when you have thought and said things about yourself that is contrary to the word of God and you accepted it as truth. Lack of confidence comes when you think more highly of someone, than you think of yourself.

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Lack of confidence comes when you think you are not beautiful, valuable, smart, intelligent and brilliant. Lack of confidence comes when you think you are not enough, when you do not love the body, personality, looks, your race, and the family you grew up in. Lack of confidence comes when you think others have more than you do and when the thoughts you have about yourself are negative.

Human beings are always trying to fix up the outside by accumulating external things and stuff to make ones self feel good, look good and to feel confident. It is the inside that really needs a makeover.

Just because you see people with a lot of nice material things, degrees and money, doesn’t mean they are confident people. Some of your most insecure people uses things to mask what they are truly feeling on the inside.

I hope I am not sounding like you should not have material possessions and if you do, that means you are not confident. That is not what I am saying at all. I have seen a lot of people who have stuff and degrees and wealth but the stuff do not have them. They do not place their identity in titles and things. You will never know what they have if someone did not tell you or if they did not reveal it to you.

So how do confidence comes in to play when you want to attract your Boaz or a man after God’s own heart who is worthy of your love and who wants to take your hand in marriage?

When a man sees you, he sees the God that is in you. If you do not have a relationship with God, I suggest you start developing one with him right now, Pray this prayer.

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Confidence means to put trust in the power of something or someone that is reliable and trust worthy. It also means having trust and believing in your God given abilities. God is the only one in the entire world that is trustworthy and reliable. Since we are made after his likeness and image, we share the same attributes as God, therefore we can believe in the God that is inside of us..

Genesis 1:26-27,  And God said, Let us make man in our image, after our likeness: 27 So God created man in his own image, in the image of God created he him; male and female created he them.

Genesis 1:31 And God saw every thing that he had made, and, behold, it was very good

When sin came into the earth, men vision became blurred to his original design and he did things to look for meaning and to find fulfillment on the earth, and some men sought it in everything but God, so today I am going to introduce you to your original design and give you some tools that you can use to help you gain your confidence back or to help you to recognize what true confidence is.

Single Ladies, God says, that you are fearfully and wonderfully made by him. He also says, that everyone of your hairs are numbered and that you are more valuable than many sparrows. God says, you are made a little lower than the angels and you are crowned with glory and honor.

Psalm 139:14 NIV 14 I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made;
your works are wonderful,

Matthew 10:30-31 Are not two sparrows sold for a penny? And not one of them will fall to the ground without your Father’s will. But even the hairs of your head are all numbered. Fear not, therefore, you are of more value than many sparrows.

Psalms 8: 4-6 What is man, that thou art mindful of him? and the son of man, that thou visitest him? For thou hast made him a little lower than the angels, and hast crowned him with glory and honor. Thou madest him to have dominion over the works of thy hands; thou hast put all things under his feet:

I looked up some very important words from the verses above, to let you know exactly what God had in mind, when he created you. These meanings alone, should change your mindset about yourself. If you can not be confident in anything else, be confident in what God says about you.

Valuable: having considerable monetary worth; costing or bringing a high price: having qualities worthy of respect, admiration, or esteem: of considerable use, service, or importance: 

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Crown: a wreath or garland for the head, awarded as a sign of victory, success, honor, a similar ornamental headgear worn by a person designated king or queen in a pageant, contest, etc.

Honor: honesty, fairness, or integrity in one’s beliefs and actionshigh respect, as for worth, merit, or rank: such respect manifested: high public esteem; fame; glory: the privilege of being associated with or receiving a favor from a respected person, group, organization, etc.:

Glory: something that is a source of honor, fame, or admiration; a distinguished ornament or an object of pride:a state of great splendor, magnificence, or prosperity. A state of absolute happiness, gratification, contentment.

How do we get back to all of these beautiful things God orginally created us to be, after the world, our families, teachers, relationships, our own thoughts and friendships told us or showed us something different from our original design.

This is just a tip of what God had in mind when he created you, it would take a 100 blog posts to tell you who you are, so please search the scriptures and find out who God created you to be.

You were born on earth with gifting, talents, skills, purpose and originality. There is no one on planet earth exactly like you. There is no one in the world who have your finger prints. In fact, Psalm 139:13-16 says in

You made all the delicate, inner parts of my body and knit me together in my mother’s womb. Thank you for making me so wonderfully complex! Your workmanship is marvelous—and how well I know it. You watched me as I was being formed in utter seclusion, as I was woven together in the dark of the womb. You saw me before I was born. Every day of my life was recorded in your book. Every moment was laid out before a single day had passed.

It was God that created everything about you when you were born. You were perfect in Gods eye sight. All of your features were what God wanted you to have. He wants you to love what he created you to be.

If you are walking around with a damaged self image. All you have to do to change your self image and perception of yourself, is to change the way you are believing about yourself and replace it with God’s words and positive confession.

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It is important that you do mirror techniques so you can change your perception of your self. If you do not love who God created you to be, how is someone else going to love the way God meant for you to be loved, and how are you going to love others the way they were meant to be love.

What is mirror technique? Mirror technique is when you look at yourself in the mirror and speak nothing but great things over yourself. You are using your own voice but God’s word and positive confession to prophesy to yourself and your future. You are also changing your self perception and developing confidence in God and yourself. I have include scriptures confessions by Joyce Meyer and Kyle Winkler. I have also included  and a bonus positive affirmation, pick one or choose all and listen to them and say them daily.

Love is not based on performance, love is not based in things, love is not based on if you do everything right, when you based love in any of these things, you are sure to set yourself up for failure in all of your relationships, even your relationship with God. Your confidence will be very low. No one will ever measure up in your eyes, not even yourself. You will always find fault with others or think you are better than they are.

Self acceptance, forgiving yourself and loving yourself helps you to do the same for others. Having a relationship with the Heavenly Father allows you the grace not to be perfect and to forgive yourself for not being perfect. When you mess up it is ok, because you love yourself enough to know you are accepted by God and he loves you unconditionally regardless of your imperfections.

In return, you do not have to put on airs for anyone. You can be yourself and love who God created you to be. You can appreciate your gifts, skills and talents and you can appreciate others as well. You would value where you come from and what family you were born in. You would not be ashamed of who you are because you did not grow up as prestigious as  others. You would not allow your past life to keep you feeling shame for the choices you’ve made out of a faulty belief system.

You will love all parts of your beautiful and wonderful self. If there is something that you can change do it, but you are not doing it so you can be accepted by others, you are doing because you love yourself and you want the best for yourself.

As you start loving yourself and being truly happy with who God created you to be and how God created you to look, you are going to walk with your head up high. Why not, my God said that you are a queen, you are valuable, your are royalty, your are worthy of honor and glory, you are favored, your are blessed, you are made in the image and likeness of God. Happiness is what he created you to be.

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When you are confident, you smile a lot, because you have nothing to frown about. Even in your most challenging times you smile knowing God is working everything out for your good.

When you are confident you want to look your best. Regardless of your size, love all of your body. If you do not love your body yet, do the mirror technique until you can love it or until you can loose the weight you want to loose. I know we humans put a lot of attention on what others can see, but sometimes our outside body is a result of what is going on in our thoughts and heart. When we deal with the negative thoughts our bodies will line up. Our bodies are the temple of the Holy Spirit and we should keep our temple healthy because we can live longer to fulfill our purpose on earth. Plus, when we are working out and eating healthy it gives us a glow and helps us to feel good, energetic and strong.

When you are confident, you do not compete with others, because the same God that created them, created you. You know they were uniquely created with wonderful amazing talents, gifting and skills just like you. Everything God created is beautiful. You are not jealous of anyone because to be jealous of them, would be to be jealous of God. You appreciate everything that God created. You compliment and encourage others because to do so, you compliment and encourage yourself. Your style, the way you wear you make-up, the way you style your hair, your personality is what set you apart from anyone else. True confidence comes from having a healthy perspective about your self, others and God, knowing it is by the grace of God that we have what we have.

Whatever someone else have, you can obtain it too, if you put your faith in actions for it. When you see others doing well say so, be confident in the God that you serve knowing if he did it for them, he can do it for you. All it takes is that you use your faith, like they used theirs.

As a result of believing what God says about you, it will help you to become a more confident you.

When you your husband notices you, he is going to be attracted to the essence of you. He is going to be attracted to the God that is in your heart. He is going to be attracted to that inner glow that is saying I love who God created me to be, all of me, regardless of my perceived flaws because I am fearfully and wonderfully made by God.

Strive to be all that God created you to be. When you do, it would bring the blessings, degrees, prosperity, wealth, houses, cars, etc. You are now striving out of wholeness from a birthright that you were always meant to have.

I hope the blog post helped you to know what true confidence is. I would love to hear from you, let me know how this blog post have helped you and follow me on Instagram, Facebook and twitter.

COACH ANGIE!

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6 Principles Single Ladies Need To Have In Place To Attract Boaz!/Principle #2

Hello extraordinary single lady, this is the 2nd principle of “6 PRINCIPLES SINGLE LADIES NEED TO HAVE IN PLACE TO ATTRACT BOAZ” if you are reading this blog post without learning about the 1st principle, I suggest you stop and read the 1st principle single ladies need to have in place to attract Boaz.

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The 2nd principle is, “Enjoying Your Own Company”

When your husband shows up, he needs you, to have a life of your own.

I think far too long, women look to a man to rescue her from her circumstances, rescue her from loneliness and rescue her from herself. Some women look to a man to validate their self-worth.

The only life force that have the ability to validate you is God and yourself.

We will seek validation from the people that are important to us like our parents, siblings and friends. But what if you do not get the validation that you are looking for from the people in your life? Are you going to feel bad about yourself and feel bad about the things that you are doing?

This is why you can not even rely on the people that are closes to you to validate you. They may not see things like you see them.

You will have all types of reasons why people don’t and won’t give you the validation that you may be searching for. They may not have it inside of their heart to give it out to you. They may be lacking something inside of themselves. They may not want you to know that they think that much about you.

Some people do not give validation to you because they fear loosing some kind of control over you. Some people hold back giving you validation because they fear you are going to out do them. It could be because they are envious of you. It could be because they don’t know how much you really need it from them. But whatever the reason people hold back validation really doesn’t matter, because the only validation you need is God’s and yourself.

You really need to be grounded in this truth before you get married.

Today I want to teach you how to enjoy your own company. When you can enjoy your own company you become self-sufficient. You may desire to have fellowship with others, but you do not look to others to make you happy. You do not need others approval of you. You are not desperate for attention from others. You can create your own the happiness.

I am not shocked about woman looking for validation, because as little girls we grow up watching what has been displayed to us in our homes. We watched how our fathers treated our mothers and how our fathers treated us. If we did not grow up with a father in the home, we watched how our mothers relate to the men that was in her life. Little girls are always seeking some kind of validation. Whether it is from momma or daddy, we thrive off of it. If we did not get it as little girls we grow up to be grown woman still needing to be validated. We grow up still needing for someone to tell us that we are special, beautiful, lovable, awesome, smart and capable. We looked to others to make us happy.

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Were you the little girl that waited on your daddy when he said he was coming back and never did come back ? You know us girls love our daddy, and we believe anything they say to us. You gotta deal with that right now, because you will be waiting for a man when he tells you that he needs to take care of somethings in his life and put you on hold, expecting you to be there when he get back.

No my love, you deserve a man who is going to value you, be there for you and respect your time. You never ever put your life on hold for anyone you are not married to, so they can go and figure out what they want to do. A woman would think this is normal because this is what she saw her father do to her.

You will never be happy, and always be disappointed if you allow others to control your life.

You are handing your happiness in the hands of others if you are sitting around waiting for someone to share their time with you and share your awesome beautiful space. 

Were you the little girl that always needed praise and compliments and felt rejected or unloved when you did not get it. You my extraordinary sister is getting ready to snatch your power and your happiness back from the enemy of your mind. You are getting ready to implement the tools that will help you to enjoy your own company, find yourself and discover what you love. Enjoying your own company is all about you surviving without anyone breathing your air.

Are you the little girl that got anything she wanted from her daddy? You will be expecting that from your soon to be husband who at the time, might not be able to give you everything you want. If you do not deal with this now, you would think he is not making you happy.

When you have learned to enjoy your own company, take care of yourself and do the things that you love, you will not put unrealistic expectation on other people, not even your soon to be husband.

I am not saying you should not expect your soon to be husband to spend quality time with you and buy you nice gifts, what I am talking about is you feeling unhappy and waiting on others to love you, spend time with you and validate you so you can feel whole.

You should be learning how to do things by yourself, like going to the movies, it is alright to have girls night out but you should try going to the movies by yourself. You need to depend on you and God for your own happiness. Date yourself, visit the museum, go out to eat by yourself, to a nice fine dining restaurant, and dress up. Take little trips by yourself. Love your own company, Enjoy you.

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Create a space that you can not wait to come home to! This is the time you need to find out what you like. What truly makes you happy and start during more of those things.

How is the man in your life going to enjoy your company, when you do not enjoy your own company. Try turning off the electronics and just sit listening to your own breath. Play some wonderful praise music and get before the lord and dance. Get to know yourself all over again.

There are going to be times in your marriage, when your husband is not going to want to do the things that you want to do, or he might not be available to do them with you because of his work schedule, your life still goes on and he needs to see that you are not making him your happiness. That takes tons of pressure off him and even makes you more attractive to him, because he knows you are not going to be waiting around for him. He needs to know that you are not making him your little god.

When a woman flows out of fulfillment, she is not desperate for attention from another person. Though she wants her husband undivided attention at times, she do not fall apart when he is not able to give it to her. She goes to God in prayer and tell God what she needs and waits for God to answer that prayer. That woman goes by her way and pulls from the things that makes her happy.

She does not mope around desperately, waiting until someone comes along to validate her.

So what are some of the things you can do to fall in love with your life, fall in love with yourself and truly learn how to enjoy your own company.

Find out what makes you happy. Extraordinary single lady, purchase you a journal and fill it up with all of the things you want to do that you have not done yet. Don’t wait until you are married to do these things, if you can make it happen while you are single, than do it.

*Create a love list. Began to thrush out all of the things that you absolutely love and do more of it.

*Right down 10 things that you are grateful for every night and focus on one thing out of those 10 things that you are most grateful for.

*Right down all of your favorites colors, and start decorating your house, wardrobe and jewelry and everything else you can buy in these colors.

*Walk at least 30 minute a day, walking has wonderful benefits and it keeps you healthy and stress free.

*Create you a playlist on youtube of your favorite songs and dance until your heart is content.

*If you have extra cash, get yourself a spa treatment. I recommend at least once a month. If it is not in your budget, buy your own spa kit and pamper yourself once a week, you deserve it.

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*Learn something new every week and read and study that topic until your heart is content. The Library is a gigantic wealth of knowledge, and everything there is free! So you have no excuse not to learn something new.

*Take a trip by yourself and feel happy and free. See the sites, shop until you drop and then get dressed up and treat your self to a yummy delicious meal.

*Create an affirmation list, find your best scriptures and positive confessions and say them to yourself daily. You can also do mirror techniques. Look at yourself in the mirror and speak get things over yourself at least 2 times a day in the morning and before bed.

*Go to the movies and fine dining often, by yourself and with your friends.

*Do something adventurous!

*Learn how to meditate on your favorite scriptures and confessions. Just sit quietly with soft instrumental praise music and dream of having your new life.

*Declutter your environment. Create a checklist of things, people, environments, clothes and furniture that no longer serves you purpose. Donate, throw away, give way and disconnect.

*Organize your life! This can be really fun. Turn on your favorite music and clean and organize your house and everything that is in it. Bills, schedules ect.

*Create you a 100 goal list, write down things that you want to do in your life time.

*Learn how to cook and invite your friends or family or co workers over to try your new recipes.

*Learn all you can about marriage.

*Watch a wholesome comedy and laugh until you cry.

*Give your self a makeover. Practice confidence, poise and smiling.

*Practice controlling your thoughts and think your way to a happy life. Wake up renewed everyday, can’t wait to enjoy the next thing on your list. Get excited about your life and when you do, your life will be filled with exuberance.

When you began to enjoy your own company, you will become an interesting person as well as a well rounded person. There will be a new sparkle in your eyes and a renewed love for living and this will show on your face. Your life will not feel meaningless anymore, you will not look to anyone to create your happiness.

When you get married, your happiness will be in the love and security of God first, then yourself. Your perspective will be clear when it comes to who is in charge of your happiness. Happiness and positive energy attracts things and people to us, speaking negatively and feeling unhappy repeal things and people away from us.

I give you permission to enjoy your happy and beautiful life!

I would love to hear from you, leave a comment letting me know your thoughts about this blog post. Don’t forget to subscribe to Breakthrough Blog 4 Women to receive the other 4 principles to 6 Principles Single Ladies need to a have in place to attract Boaz. Follow me on my Social Media platforms FaceBook Twitter and Instagram.

`How To Wear Your Happiness Like A Crown!

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Ladies you are allowing people, things and circumstances to steal your joy. It is my greatest desire to see women happy, whole and living a beautiful life while receiving their breakthroughs.

Happiness is always a choice. But some ladies are dealing with strongholds that is keeping true happiness from shining through. The Bible say the joy of the Lord is your strength and you need your strength to take care of yourself, your family and your purpose! Your strength is what keeps you going.

One of my intentions that I’ve set for my for myself is to keep my joy no matter what! I actually wrote an article about it titled Living An Intentional Life In Your Heart! 

I think you and I need to find out what it means to be truly happy, so let’s look up the definition of happy and then we are going to delve into the Bible to see what God says about being happy, joyous and elated!

Dictionary.com defines happy as :

  1. delighted, pleased, or glad, as over a particular thing:
    (to be happy to see a person.)
  2. characterized by or indicative of pleasure, contentment, or joy:
    (a happy mood; a happy frame of mind.)
  3. favored by fortune; fortunate or lucky:
    (a happy, fruitful land.)

Some people happiness comes from seeing a certain person. Which also lets me know that they can lose their joy when they don;t see a certain person they are close to and they can loose their joy when they see a person because of offense in their heart towards that person. Acquiring things makes people happy as well, which tells me that your happiness can be altered if you do not acquire certain things in your life.

Some people happiness comes from being favored by fortune. Which tells me when you do not have wealth or money it could alter your state of happiness because it is based on you having the money and possessions.

Some people happiness comes from pleasure. They look for things that make them feel good. This too can alter your happiness because if no one is telling you how fabulous you are and how beautiful you are then you are not happy, or if you are not always doing something, you feel like your life is boring and unfulfilling.

But I love the 2nd definition of happiness. Some people are happy because of their frame of mind and happy mood.

Contentment and joy are not based on anything external and comes from within.

This is where God lives in your heart! This is the happiness that I intentionally strive to live everyday! This happiness is based on having a relationship with God and having a grateful heart.

This kind of happiness does not look outside of itself to be happy. It is not based on materials things, money, or other people. This kind of happiness is in God. It is where God lives.

Misery loves company but you be so happy that you don’t get an invitation!

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There will be situations in your life that wants to rob you of your joy but you have to fill yourself up everyday with doses of love, joy and peace. Wear your happy like a crown, so when misery sees you, it knows instantly you are not going to be the guest list.

Lets read what the Bible says about happiness!

Proverbs 15:13 ESV A glad heart makes a cheerful face, but by sorrow of heart the spirit is crushed. When you are not happy it crushes your spirit and it shows on your face. People can tell when you are having issue with your heart. You don’t genuinely look happy.

Proverbs 17:22 ESV A joyful heart is good medicine, but a crushed spirit dries up the bones. Being happy is healing to your body and spirit. But a crushed spirit dries up the bones. That is why it is said that some diseases are brought on by unforgiveness and bitterness of the spirit.

I love what Ecclesiastes 3:12 ESV reads, it says, “I perceived that there is nothing better for them than to be joyful and to do good as long as they live.” Look ladies, life is to grand to be living it in a unhappy and unfulfilled state. Solomon writes that he has done everything under the sun and he perceived after trying everything and doing everything, that there is nothing better than for a man to be happy and do good as long as they live.

Some woman unhappiness comes from trying to control someone else’s situation that has nothing to do with them. We inject ourselves in people lives trying to control others circumstances by over helping and giving to much. Ladies we have to allow grown people to be grown. You are loosing your happiness because they are choosing to do what works best for them and what thy want to be doing rather it is right for them or not, they are making their own choice, and because they are not choosing to do it your way, you are loosing your joy.

You can only control you and you alone. Take your happy back. Get your hands out of other peoples affairs.

Ladies this scripture tells us that we should be happy, joyous, elated content with our own responsibilities. Ecclesiastes 3:13 ESV reads,  “Also that everyone should eat and drink and take pleasure in all his toil—this is God’s gift to man.”

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How do you do that? I get happy and grateful for the role I get to play in helping my husband fulfill his role as the leader, protector and provider in our home by serving him in what ever capacity I need to serve him in and the same thing goes for my children. The Bible says in Matthew 23:11 The greatest among you will be your servant. It is not the person that is getting served that is the greatest, but the one who gets to serve!  A different kingdom.

Now, do I need breaks sometimes? Yes I do! And do I need help sometimes? Yes I do! Is it always perfect, no it is not. But it is a privilege, that I get to serve my family. It is a privilege that I get to partner with God in helping his daughters get whole in every area of their life. I am so elated that God picked me to share in this awesome work. Their is nothing more satisfying than to see my family having what they need to be healthy physically, spiritually and emotionally!  There is nothing more satisfying than to serve the women and girls that I am called to.

Happiness is a mindset, you have to choose to be happy no matter what! You can find joy in your everyday routines. But first you have to stop complaining about it and find the good in everything in your life. Let go of the baggage, the attitude, the holding people hostage within your heart! Stop it, people are going to be people. People are not God. People are going to let you down. So get your faith out of people and put it in God. Get your head out of the air, you are not perfect, so why are you trying to make everybody else perfect. God forgives you when you mess up. Forgive others and move own. People will never be able to measure up to your standards because you can not measure up to your standards.

You are not doing yourself a favor by holding ought in your heart toward anyone and what is sad is that the person your are holding hostage don’t even have a clue! They are going on wearing their happy crown and living a life of joyous abundance and you are using all of your energy to excommunicate them out of your life mentally.

Half of the people that you are holding hostage never done a thing to you. You are holding them hostage because of what someone told you about them, that might not be true! There are always two sides to every story. It is time out for petty distractions. Your life is too precious to loose your joy over anyone.

Psalm 118:24 ESV This is the day that the Lord has made; let us rejoice and be glad in it. 

God wants you to wake up every single day, being glad that you get to enjoy his blessing and love on his people. You do not have time to waste on cattiness. There is a higher calling that is calling you to come up higher where Gods thoughts are and where Gods ways are. Listen to the happy song and get happy!

When you are filled with Gods joy, love and happiness he gives you peace and security. Check out these last 2 scriptures about having a happy heart. Psalm 16:9 ESV Therefore my heart is glad, and my whole being rejoices; my flesh also dwells secure. Isaiah 55:12 ESV “For you shall go out in joy and be led forth in peace; the mountains and the hills before you shall break forth into singing, and all the trees of the field shall clap their hands.

 

Would love to connect with you, leave a comment telling me how this article helped you and follow me on Instagram, Facebook and Twitter

Coach Angie!

http://www.noboundariesbtc.com

Design Your Life: With Thought, Care and Wisdom

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With where your life is right now, if you were given a white piece of paper and was told that you could create your life just by imagining it and writing it down on paper, what would you write? If you had no limits and you could get exactly what you want, what would your life look like?

I would advise you to think long and hard about how you would create your life. I would tell you to pay attention to all of the details and responsibilities that comes with having what your heart desires. I would advise you to think about your intentions and why you are asking for some of the things that you want to come into your life.

When your life is so wonderfully crafted it is done with thought, care and wisdom! This reminds me of King Solomon that the Bible speak about. I want to share this passage of scriptures with you.

2 Chronicles 1:7-12

Solomon went up to the bronze altar before the Lord in the tent of meeting and offered a thousand burnt offerings on it.

That night God appeared to Solomon and said to him, “Ask for whatever you want me to give you.”

Solomon answered God, “You have shown great kindness to David my father and have made me king in his place. Now, Lord God, let your promise to my father David be confirmed, for you have made me king over a people who are as numerous as the dust of the earth. Give me wisdom and knowledge, that I may lead this people, for who is able to govern this great people of yours?”

God said to Solomon, “Since this is your heart’s desire and you have not asked for wealth, possessions or honor, nor for the death of your enemies, and since you have not asked for a long life but for wisdom and knowledge to govern my people over whom I have made you king, therefore wisdom and knowledge will be given you. And I will also give you wealth, possessions and honor, such as no king who was before you ever had and none after you will have.”

When God presented this declaration to Solomon, I believe Solomon told God what he wanted out of his greatest need at that time. Solomon realized the responsibility he was given and perhaps it was very overwhelming for him. I would even say that Solomon probably felt inadequate. After all, Solomon was king over a people who were as numerous as the dust of the earth. Solomon said to God, who is able to govern this great people of yours.

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Instead of Solomon asking God for wealth and riches, vengeance  against his enemies and to let this cup pass to someone else, he decided to ask God for the wisdom and knowledge to handle it all.

I believe Solomon watched his dad when he was king, he probably was saying to himself, how is my father able to handle all of this responsibility, it is to much to bare. Solomon saw his father go to God in prayer continually and I bet his father made being in the kingship position effortless. King Solomon probably saw a lot of mistake his father made as well. Solomon gave much thought, care and wisdom to the opportunity that God presented him with. I can ask for whatever I want, and I can have it!

Solomon just asked for what he knew he needed. He asked for what would answer everything for him, something he felt like he was lacking greatly! Wisdom and knowledge to led God’s people. See Solomon was around wealth all of his life. After all, he was the son of a king. When ever the king asked for something it was given to him.

I believe we should ask for the greatest need. The thing that would solve it all for us! What are you lacking? What is it that have you feeling so inadequate? What is it that make you feel like you are not good enough? What do you need that would make you feel most successful in your life? That has to be pondered over with much thoughtfulness, care and wisdom.

In return for Solomon asking for what he really needed, which was wisdom and knowledge to led God’s people, God told Solomon, “Since this is your heart’s desire and you have not asked for wealth, possessions or honor, nor for the death of your enemies, and since you have not asked for a long life but for wisdom and knowledge to govern my people over whom I have made you king, therefore wisdom and knowledge will be given you. And I will also give you wealth, possessions and honor, such as no king who was before you ever had and none after you will have.”

Now let me ask you this question again.

With where your life is right now, if you were given a white piece of paper and was told that you could create your life just by imagining it and writing it down on paper.

What would you write? If you had no limits and you could get exactly what you want, what would your life look like?

Would love to connect with you, leave a comment telling me how this article helped you and follow me on InstagramFacebook and Twitter

Coach Angie!

http://www.noboundariesbtc.com

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

5 Ways to Overcome Any Addiction!

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So why do I want to address this issue? Because I lived with addictions and the affects of having addictions in your life is crippling! You will not be able to enjoy a beautiful life until your additions is dealt with. So this issue has to be addressed, if you want to live the beautiful life Christ Jesus died for you to have.

Addictions rob us of our self-worth and self-esteem. It leave us feeling guilty, ashamed, living in fear, causes us to hide, and have self-hatred, it destroys our character, pride, dignity and leave us feeling unworthy and without confidence. Addictions can also cause us to loose our relationship with our family, friends and associates. It can cause us to feel defeated, weak, hopeless and like failures. Living with an addiction can make you become heartless, covetous, selfish, lustful and uncaring, addictions can destroy your life!

Now you see why I must deal with this issue. God loves you so much and his whole mission for reconciling you back to him is so that you can really experience what it means to experience true love.

The motivating force behind addictions is for you to escape from the reality of your life because of the absence of love you have for yourself and the absence of love that you want to feel with a physical human being.

The addiction gives you a temporary fix of the real feeling you want to be experiencing. It keeps you going back to that feel good feeling when ever you need it, and in return, it is making you addicted on the thing you keep going back to.

It doesn’t matter what the addiction is, it could be gambling, food, lust of all kinds like porn, sexual simulation from yourself, the opposite sex, same sex, perversion, the need to please, drugs, gossiping, lying, stealing, cheating, food, alcohol, nicotine, OCD, anorexia, bulimia, body piercing, and even tattoos. It doesn’t matter the addiction, the reason for having the addiction comes back to 2 core things, the absence of love you have for yourself and the absence of love that you want to feel with a physical human being.

I know you do not want to struggle with these addictions in your life anymore. You so badly want to be free of them, like I wanted to be set free when I struggled with addictions.

No one sees you when you cry out at night and asking God to deliver you from these strange addictions. Even feeling like you want to take your life because you feel like you will never be set free from the addiction. You are in real pain. You are feeling hopeless and discouraged because you don’t know why you can’t get set free from this addiction.

I want to share with you some tools that I’ve learned and that have helped me to get set free of addictions that wanted to destroy my life and keep me from experiencing freedom in Christ and the beautiful life that I am experiencing right now!

There is hope for you so please do not give up! Fight for your life, and fight for your future. God is on your side. But you have to want to be set free more than the addiction that you think have control over you. By the way, those addictions are just distractions that are keeping from living the life God wants you to live. One of beauty, love, joy and freedom.

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STEPS TO GETTING FREE FROM ADDICTIONS!

1. Acknowledge that you need help. Whether you acknowledge it to yourself, or someone you trust, you have to acknowledge it to God. Just by simply stating the fact that this is a problem and it is robbing you and everyone around you of the love, life, time, purpose, freedom and joy that you should be experiencing and that they should be experiencing with you, is the first step to getting free. You tried to do it on your own, and here it is 10 years or more later and you are still struggling with this addiction. You need help. Say it right now! Lord I need you and I need help that only you can bring me. I have tried to do it on my own and have not been successful, so now I invite you in to change my heart and my mindset when it comes to this addiction. Name the addiction that you are struggling with to God. I can’t assume that everyone has a relationship with the Heavenly Father, having a relationship is key to getting set free from addictions. Pray this prayer. If you feel like you need to re-dedicate your relationship with the Heavenly Father pray this prayer..

2. Read God’s word (Holy Bible) especially on the addiction you are struggling with and find out what his word says about it. Agree with God. Whatever He says about that sin. Write it down on paper and meditate on it until it become ingrained in your thoughts. You can go online and type it in. For example, “what does the Bible says about sex.” It will give you all the scripture concerning that topic.

In order for you to defeat your opponent you have to know everything about him. Satan is your opponent, his job is to keep you in darkness and from living a life of freedom and true fulfillment in Christ Jesus. You have to replace your defeated thoughts with new truths. Right down how God’s says you are to behave concerning that addiction. Now believe what God believes about it.

There are 3 major topics you are going to have to study concerning your opponent.

*Who is satan?

*What are satan tactics?

*How does satan tempt man and your way of escape?

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3. Have a I am not giving up until I see my breakthrough attitude.   Make up in your mind that you are going to be delivered from this no matter what! And that you are not giving up until you are free! Make up in your mind that you are no longer going to be defeated in this addiction. Even if you fall back from time to time until you can walk in your freedom, you must get back up with a winners attitude. The Bible says in Proverbs 24:16 (KJV For a just man falleth seven times, and riseth up again: but the wicked shall fall into mischief. Here is an inspirational song to encourage you on your journey to freedom. We fall Down and Get Back Up Again by Donnie McCurklin.

Now, disregard the verses of the song that says a Saint is just a sinner who fell down. Once you accept Christ as your savior, God no longer calls you a sinner but calls you righteous. Calling yourself sinner is identifying with what you once were before you gave your life to Christ. Now that you accepted Christ as your Savior, though you my may sin in a certain area, don’t mean you are a sinner who is practicing sinning with no consciousness. If you shall fall back in old behavior patterns just quote the scripture in 1John 1:9 (NIV) If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness.

4. Change your confession . speak it out of your mouth that you are delivered from the addiction. No longer agree with the negative chatter that is said by you, your thoughts or by other people. Do not claim to be a recovering nothing! You speak out of your mouth I am delivered from this addiction, I am set free from this addiction once and for all!  The bible says in Proverbs 18:21(KJV) Death and life are in the power of the tongue: and they that love it shall eat the fruit thereof. It also says in Proverbs 18:20 (KJV) A man’s belly shall be satisfied with the fruit of his mouth; and with the increase of his lips shall he be filled.”

These scriptures are saying whatever you believe and speak out of your mouth is going to form your life. You will get exactly what you truly believe and speak about your life.

5. Guard your thoughts, eyes and your ears!  Our senses is how we experience our world and are the most sensitive parts of our body that incite stimuli. Your thoughts evoke emotions and feelings, so it is important that you are thinking the right things and learning new truths so your mind can think on scriptures and positive confessions and evoke good emotions in your body. You have to guard your gates, especially eyes and ears. The Bible say in Matthew 5:27-28(NKJV) “You have heard that it was said to those of old, ‘You shall not commit adultery.’ But I say to you that whoever looks at a woman to lust for her has already committed adultery with her in his heart. 

Why did God say when a man or woman look to lust after another human being, they are not married to, that they already committed the act of adultery in their heart? Because temptation starts the very moment you see, hear and then you linger over the thoughts of what ever is tempting you.

You saw the married man once, then you look again and then you linger and then you start thinking about him. You have now entered in an adulterous relationship with that married man, that belongs to another woman, in your heart! Before you ever committed any sin in your life you have committed in your heart already. Listen to what this scripture teaches in

James 1:13-15 When tempted, no one should say, “God is tempting me.” For God cannot be tempted by evil, nor does He tempt anyone. But each one is tempted when by his own evil desires he is lured away and enticed. Then after desire has conceived, it gives birth to sin; and when sin is fully grown, it gives birth to death.… 

So it is important to stop the temptation before it enters. 2 Corinthians 10:5 (KJV) reads casting down imaginations, and every high thing that exalteth itself against the knowledge of God, and bringing into captivity every thought to the obedience of Christ;

Don’t think you are so strong that it can not happen to you. This next scripture lets us know we can fall into temptation if we are not careful, and God always provides us with away of escape. You have to change the things you watch on TV, the friends you hang around, get rid of the computer if it is creating temptation for you. You have to move to a new location, stop talking on the telephone, when you see temptation turn the other way and you get out of there fast! Do not look twice! Throw away all of the things that is attached to that addiction.

1 Corinthians 10:12-14 So the one who thinks he is standing firm should be careful not to fall. No temptation has seized you except what is common to man. And God is faithful; He will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, He will also provide an escape, so that you can stand up under it. Therefore, my beloved, flee from idolatry.…

Go on a fast! One day Jesus disciples was trying to cast out an evil spirit out of a boy but they could not. They asked Jesus why they could not cast the evil spirit out. He said in Mark 9:28:  After Jesus had gone into the house, His disciples asked Him privately, “Why couldn’t we drive it out?” Jesus answered, “This kind cannot come out, except by prayer and fasting.”

Fast and pray! I received healing from a spirit of miscarriages on a 40 day fast. Read the Bible to find out the correct way to fast. Some of you need to fast food, social media, telephone, TV, secular media, being around certain environments and people until you are strong enough to avoid temptation. I still do not watch some rated PG 13 movies and I do not watch rated R movies at all. How bad do you want to be set free from that addiction? You have to do what it takes to be set free of addictions and strongholds.

Would love to hear from you. Leave a comment letting me know how this blog post blessed your life and follow me on Instagram and Facebook and to receive more amazing life changing content push the subscribe button.

Coach Angie!

http://www.noboundariesbtc.com

5 Things You Should Do When You feel Like Everything Is Falling Apart!

 “5 Things You Should Do When You Feel Like Everything Is Falling Apart.”

What things are consuming your thoughts? What are you so concerned about? Well Guess what? My God cares about it as well, you need answers and He is here to give them to you. I hear people saying God don’t speak to me. God speaks all the time but are you ready to listen to who God uses and what he uses to get the answers to you.

I woke up to this message, I learned to stop questioning myself and learn to trust the voice that is speaking. After all, I am just a vessel that has allowed the Heavenly Father to speak through me, rather the message is for me or for you, I am going to capture the conversation.

So what was God revealing to me upon waking up this morning?

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1. When your world is changing around you, stay connected to God.

There is a tendency to disconnect from God and try to figure things out on our own. The urgency of the matter will try and get us to move to fast and react now. Sometimes out of haste we make the wrong move, and out of desperation we jump the gun to fast.

Seasons change, businesses change, locations change, your kids are changing, your marriage is changing, the way our world works is changing, your vision has changed and if we are not careful or in tune to what is going on around us, we would be wondering to ourselves what is going on, I never had to work so hard at trying to keep this thing going. It was once prosperous, we use to be so connected to each other, what happen to my babies, they use to tell me everything, I never had to work this hard to keep this business afloat.

We have to keep up with the times, our world is evolving. What was detestable to wear in public years ago, is now the new normal. Temptation is different now, unlike David in the Bible who stumble upon temptation when he saw Bathsheba taking a shower, now temptation comes to your front door and right in your face.

Social Media is the new game changer, and if you are in any kind of business, it is advantageous that you have some kind of on going social media presence. I know we want things to stay the same, but everything is changing. The way we relate to our kids have changed, you got to be the parent that is in the know, it is all kinds of influences that are effecting the way our kids are behaving. They speak in codes and ebonics, and the messages are hidden in the codes. Parents, we must be able to recognize the new language amongst our kids, so we can understand what our children are into.

The way you’ve done business has changed, your old tactics is not working anymore, it is time for you to find out where your customers are and what do they need from you. You should be contemplating on how you can better serve your customers? How can you make your customer feel important, and what will set you apart from all of the rest.

We are in the age of information, where you practically can do everything from the comfort of your own home. You can shop online, pay your bills on line and even go to church on line.

Churches are making it easy for people to connect with them and fellowship with their congregation, even if you live in a different state, town or city. You can connect with them and be in the same service with them via live streaming.

So why should your customers leave the comfort of their own home to patronize you, when there are so many options available to them. What experience would you give them to make it worth their while? I know some of the topics I am talking about sounds ridiculous, but while you are trying to figure it out, the world is changing.

I remember my husband and I went into this movie theater where we live. This movie theater use to be real popular. It was located in a high price neighborhood, so we just assumed that it is going to be a more mature crowd, but when my husband and I sat down, we realized that we were sitting amongst a new generation of young people and for once in my life, I felt like I was stuck in time. Everything about these young people were different, the way they looked, their mannerism was different, the way they spoke and the way they dressed were different. We did not fit in at all, my husband and I agreed that this was going to be the last time we visit that movie theater. One day we drove pass the movie theater, and they were upgrading it and made it into a upscale movie theater. We have been back several times since the new grand opening. Their clientele has changed. Now young and mature come there to watch movies..

How are you going to stay current when everything around you is changing? I know you use to score big with the old system but now it is not working with the new vision. Your hustle has to be different. You are going to have to find new ways of doing thing.

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2. Embrace the change that is around you. 

How can you embrace change when it seems like things are falling apart around you. When you feel like you are falling apart inside. You do not have to accept the change around you but you are going to have to embrace it. Because whether the Bible agrees with it or not and whether you agree with it or not, it is changing or it has changed. The sooner you embrace it (I am not saying agree with sin) and find new ways of dealing with it, then you can find a solution that will make it work for the good of all that is involved.

Sometimes we just do not want to accept the way things are and we do not have to. But if you and I embrace the fact that it is what it is, then we can let go of the attachment that we placed on ourselves, that it is our job to fix it or fix someone. When we let go of all of the judgement, let go of trying to hold it all together, let go of the pride, let go of us trying to play God.

If we can let go and let God judge the situation, and we just learn to love and trust that what ever happens in this situation will work out for our highest good because we have surrendered and gave it to God, then God can step in and show us what needs to be done next.

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3. Stay calm.

I think the mind goes into over drive trying to find solutions to why our world has changed and trying to find the pieces to put it all back together like it once was. You can really work yourself up into panic mode if you are not careful with your thoughts. I know it feels like you are not doing nothing to solve the problem if you just sit and be quiet. But being still is probably what you need to do so you can hear God speaking to you.

When you feel anxious, and like anxiety is trying to rise up on the inside of you, go into your quiet place and breathe. What is happening to you is that your thoughts are out of control. You have to bring your thoughts back into captivity. You do that by calming the mind through meditation and reading the scriptures. Psalm 37:25  says, I have been young, and now I am old; yet have I not seen the righteous forsaken, nor his seed begging bread. If God said it, you better believe he is a man of his word!

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4. Pray

Now that you have cleared the cutter in your mind, fill it up with talking to God about it. He is the only one who can show you what you need to do. Prayer changes things. Cry your heart out to God, be honest with him, real honest because it says in Psalms 66:18 – If I regard iniquity in my heart, the Lord will not hear [me]:. He knows everything about you anyway.

You are in a temporary season, make sure that you forgive anybody that have hurt you, betrayed you, offended you or abandoned you. Clear your heart of any anger, bitterness, malice and strife. In order for you to move forward and get your prayers answered,  you have to have a clean heart before God. God cannot forgive you until you have forgiven others. Matthew 5:14-15 For if you forgive men their trespasses, your Heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive men their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive yours.

Ask God questions, any questions you need answered. Let God know your fears and your struggles. Ask him for help! The Bible says in Psalm 46:1 (KJV) God is our refuge and strength, a very present help in trouble. I have included a link to scriptures that tells you that God will answer your prayers. Meditate on those scriptures. God wants to help you reestablish your relationships, your business, your finances, your self-esteem and anything else you need establishing. Being thankful and grateful goes along way, in fact God says, Philippians 4:6 Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.

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5. Strategize!

Ask God to show you your dream team? And surround  yourself with others who can help you get to the next level. If you are the only knowledgeable one in the room and everyone is listening to you, then who are you listening to. This is new territory for you. You have to swallow your pride and ask for help! Right now you are losing battleground. You have to get around people who defeated Goliath already. You need to loose your girlfriends who are not married and are trying to tell you how to leave your husband. You need to get around some seasoned woman who got down in the trenches and fought to keep the other woman from stealing her husband. You need to find your Naomi! You need to find your real prayer warriors! Ask God whose heart you can trust. Just because people around appear to be faithful doesn’t mean they are.

I love listening to Oprah tell her story about when she brought her own network. She said, this was new territory for her. Oprah was use to people showing up for her on her syndicated network. After 25 years of successful television, Oprah decided that she would start her own network. She just assumed with so many followers and loyal fans, they would  just follow her to her own network. She said what she didn’t realize is, everybody did not have cable and everybody wasn’t getting cable just to watch her. Oprah stated that in that season of her life, she was just getting back what she was feeling about herself on the inside. Which was shame, fear, she didn’t know what she was doing and feeling like she was failing. People were saying all kinds of cruel things about her and putting out negative energy about how her network was doing bad and how she is not going to make it, but in order for her  Oprah to change her current situation she had to change her inner dialogue.

The moment she started to change the story she was telling herself, in that moment she could find a solution to save her network. She had to shut down from listening to the naysayers both outwardly and inwardly. She had to get a different strategy. She had to ask for help. This was a very humbling experience for Oprah. She spoke on platforms I know she didn’t want to speak on. She partner with people that she didn’t think she would ever partner with. She use the power of youtube and the internet so people could continue to connect with her without paying for cable. She went on a Life Class Tour, she did things that she did not want to do, but she had to make up her mind that she was going to sink or swim. She chose to swim. I am sure Oprah felt vulnerable. She was use to people fighting to get on her show, now she was having to ask people to buy into her network. Oprah became a game changer and so can you. You have to get a plan in place and see it through. It might be uncomfortable but you can do it! Don’t give up! Fight for your life, family and your destiny!

I would love the here from you! Leave a comment telling me your thoughts about todays blog post. Follow me on Instagram @angelayourlifecoach  and like me on Facebook  I am tackling some autumn decluttering and I am sharing my journey with you! 

Coach Angie!

http://www.noboundariesbtc.com

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Woman Who Stay To Long In Unhealthy Relationships!

When I was a little girl I fought a whole lot, I fought my cousins, the neighborhood boys, and my sisters and brothers. Some fights I won and some fights I lost.

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But to look at me today, you could not believe that Coach Angie used to throw blows.

There was something inside my heart that would not let others walk over me. There was something in my heart that knew if I didn’t stand up to fight, everyone was going to think that I was afraid to fight. I fought fights that wasn’t even my fights. I fought fights that I didn’t want to fight. I encountered some fights that I knew I had met my match! After fighting the I met my match fights, I would be worn out but none the less, I fought, even when I knew that I would loose. I would fight the person and walk away, and when I walked away, the fight was over for good.

But one day I encountered a fight that I stayed in way to long. My self-esteem was wrapped up in it, the lack of love that I had for myself was wrapped up in it, a baby was wrapped up in it. I fought back, but I felt like I lost my will to fight back strong like I had done in previous fights. This fight seemed like it was getting the best of me. I allowed myself to be disrespected, walked over, rejected and abused.

Where did it all go wrong? How did this girl who fought all the time and would not let anyone walk over her, who had the love of her mother and father, allowed herself to be taken advantage of. Why didn’t this teen girl walk away from this fight, when this fight had proven to be a fight that clearly was not healthy for her life.

Why after the first time this person put their hands on her, didn’t she end that fight once and for all? What made her go back after the first initial hit? See I fought back when ever it got physical, but the fight I was losing was mental. Why was I not mentally strong enough to walk away? Its never the physical abuse that you remember that hurt so bad, although that is not good at all, but it is the mental abuse that lingers on more.

You are saying to your self what did I do to deserve this? He say that he loves me. Then those shame voices start talking to your thoughts, do not tell anybody what happen because they are going to think you are a fool for allowing this to take place and staying with him.

This blog post is for somebody, I had a totally different fight I wanted to write about but I will be obedient and allow the Holy Spirit to use me. This paragraph is for you. But I felt like this as well going through this my teenage years. But you are going through this now!

 

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Everybody look up to you, they think you got it all together, you appear to have the perfect relationship. You appear to be strong and would not take any abuse from no one. Matter of fact, your girlfriends come to you for advice. You say to yourself, you better not tell anyone about this. Just put on make up to cover the marks left on you from him hitting you. You better not tell anybody the way he really talks to you, and treat you. But even when you do tell that one person you feel like you can trust, you do not tell them everything because you know in your heart, anyone who claims that they love you, have children with you and are married to you, should never be treated like this.

My dear sisters, you are suffering in silence. Some of you are Christians and some of you are not. You are protecting your image, you are protecting his image and if you have children with him, you are protecting the image of your children. You are breaking down inside, you have to get help. You have to get enough strength to put you and your children in a healthy environment. You are not protecting anyone involved in this abusive situation, you are doing more damage by not getting the help.

Back to my story, so why didn’t I walk away, what was I lacking inside of me? How did the enemy meander his way into my self esteem and set up a mental stronghold in my mind? Why didn’t I have enough love for myself to cut the soul tides? What did I rationalize in my mind and made this situation ok to deal with? What thoughts were the enemy feeding me to make me go back again and again? What was he telling me that made me think he loved me and things will get better? What is happening to you as well? What are you afraid of letting go? What story do you keep telling yourself?

This is why I believe I stayed to long and why other women stay to long as well

I believe at the most opportune times, at times when we are on our highs and at times when we are at our lows and when we are the most vulnerable, vulnerable could mean being on top and being at the bottom, we make decisions based on the need we are feeling at that moment or season in our life.

This was happening to me in my high school years, when I was trying to figure out who I was. My home life was shattering, both of my parents were in the home but not at home. My parents was going through a  battle of there own. I think I was looking for my life to take on some kind of meaning. High School is a time where you really feel the peer pressure. It is a time where you just want to fit in and be like everybody else.

But you can be an adult and feel peer pressure. I was comparing myself with my unhealthy environment. Where almost every girl had a boyfriend. Wondering to myself am I good enough and beautiful as the other girls, do I measure up.

When you look for someone to validate you or when you are dreaming of this perfect life and you finally receive it, you start to feel like you are on top of the world. Everything is finally going good, I have someone who say they love me. I appear to others to look like I am doing so well for myself. Why would I break that up. This feels so good right now and then you begin to make decision that you haven’t given long term thought to, like having pre-material sex and a baby is born. This was my story as a teen girl, but your story as an adult is little different.

You tell yourself as an adult but we have children together, I do not want my kids to grow up from a broken home. We pay everything together how would I take care of myself without his income or he pays for everything, I haven’t worked in 5 years. We are Christians, we do not believe in divorce because God says it is a sin. How can I walk away now, I don’t want to raise this child alone. What is others going to say? But the more you stay, the worser things are getting. And the worser you are feeling on the inside because this person that you are trying to hold on to is selfish and don’t love himself. He doesn’t know how to care for you right now, he doesn’t have the right mindset. So you are subjecting yourself and your kids to this vicious cycle of abuse.

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You will never be free until you free yourself, because there is no consequences for the perpetrator’s actions. You have to go to war on the behalf of your family. Sometimes temporary separation is needed until the family unit is stabilized and the perpetrator gets some real help and make a heart change. I am not saying divorce him if you want your family to stay together, but it can not continue the way it is going, not for you or for the kids. Go on a fast and intercede. Ask God who you can talk to. This person has to be someone without judgement and that will give you true Godly counsel.

So how was I able to walk away from that dark season in my life. I stopped being afraid of him. I started to understand what real love was. I knew I needed to do inner work on myself. I would always visualize my life being better. I started to gain my footing again. I started to feel like my old self again. I wasn’t born again at the time, but I went to church as a little girl and read the children’s bible and I knew to pray to God, so that is what I did. I would talk to God asking him to give me the strength to cut all tides and fellowship with this person. I stop accepting phone calls. I no longer put myself in this person presence. I avoided any contact with this person. I had prep talks with myself, I had them with a trusted friend. I wanted more for myself and I wanted more for my daughter.

Yes, the enemy knew he was loosing ground and tried everything to stop me, but I had God on my side. I completely moved out of the neighborhood. I no longer desire the untouchable thing. I eventually started going to church and was set free completely. Yes your perpertrator will get very angry at you at first, he will use intimidation, manipulation and control. He will probably threaten you and harm your material possession as well, but you still can not fear him. Get help if you are really afraid.

There is hope for you but you have to want to see change bad enough to do something about it. You can not go another year in an abusive situation. God can turn it around for you but you have to stop being afraid! You have to get help! God will take care of you until your storm pass. Be prepared to walk away if things do not change. Some of you are not married and have nothing to loose. This is not the man for you! But those that are married, I understand you have a lot invested in your marriage, you have to trust that God will protect you. Even if you have to go in hiding to give your husband time to get it together. No one has to know about your situation.

You do not have to tell anyone about it. But please get the help! If I can help you in anyway please feel free to reach out to me, your secret is safe with me, You can contact me on my website down below. Just go to the CONTACT link and there is a number available to you.

Would love to hear feedback from you, just leave a message in the comment section. If you know anyone that needs to read this post please share it with them.

Coach Angie

http://www.noboundariesbtc.com