13 Principles I Use To Manifest My Goals and Dreams On My Vision Board!

Today I want to share with you 13 principles I use to manifest my goals and dreams on my vision board.

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If you have never heard of a vision board or if you have never created a vision board, click this link to read a blog post I wrote to my single sisters about how to create a vision board.

Please scroll down to the picture showing the vision board and start reading from there, because anything before that is talking to single ladies.

What is a vision board? A vision board is simply a tool used to see your goals, dreams and visions that you’ve written down on paper, translated into visual form by using real images or pictures.

For example; you wrote in your journal that you one day want to visit the Fiji Islands. You saw a picture in the magazine of the Fiji Islands, you can cut that picture out of the magazine and paste it to your vision board. Now, you can look at that dream and visualize yourself on the Fiji Island.The vision board itself has no power to make anything happen. It can not answer any prayers, and your faith should not be in the vision board itself. It is just a tool used to see your visions and dreams before your eyes by using real pictures. Got it?

Your faith should always be engaged in trusting the Heavenly Father and his word that these things are coming to pass.

It is not unscriptural that you are writing down the visions and dreams that you believe God is showing you for your life.

In fact, the scriptures teaches us to write the vision down and make it plain or clear!

Habakkuk 2:2-3 KJV

And the Lord answered me, and said write the vision, and make it plain upon tables, that he may run that readeth it!

For the vision is yet for an appointed time, but at the end it shall speak and not lie: though it tarry, wait for it; because it will surely come, it will not tarry.God said that he will give us the desires of our hearts if we delight ourselves in him. If you really want to know what it means to truly delight yourself in the Lord click here.

Psalm 37: 4

Delight thyself also in the Lord; and he shall give thee the desires of thine heart.

God also said, when the people do not have a vision for their life, they perish. You need to dream and you need to have goals. It keeps your life in forward movement and unstuck.

I don’t know if you know it or not, but you were created to do good things and you were also created for good works. I will share with you what the scriptures says about this.

Proverbs 29:18 KJV

Where there is no vision, the people perish: but he that keepth the law, happy is he.

Ephesians 2:10 For we are his workmanship, created in Christ Jesus unto good works, which God hath before ordained that we should walk in them,God wants you to believe him for the impossible. He said, if you can believe Him for the impossible, you can have it!

Matthew 19:26 NIV

Jesus looked at them and said, “With man this is impossible, but with God all things are possible.

Now that we’ve established that it’s not unbiblical to create a vision board and that our faith must be engaged in the Heavenly Father at all times, lets find out how to get the best use out of our vision board.

13 Principles I Use To Manifest My Goals And Dreams On My Vision Board!

1. After you have created your vision board, place it in an area where you can look at it at least twice a day.

I love looking at my vision board when I wake up in the morning and right before I go to bed. I have my vision board displayed in open view in my bedroom so when ever I walk pass it, I can see it.

2. Believe: Really believe this can one day happen for you. Believe that you are worthy to receive anything good in your life.

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Jeremiah 29:11 KJV

For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, saith the Lord, thoughts of peace, and not of evil, to give you an expected end.

3. Take at least 15 minutes daily to concentrate on your vision board. Take inventory of what you are asking to come into your life, by doing so, you are ingraining the images into your subconscious mind because what you pay attention to in your life is what you are attracting to you.

For example, you want to cut out eating sweets from your diet, but you are watching TV shows about baking desserts and yummy treats. On your job, people are constantly bringing doughnuts, cakes and snacks, and you are around this all day.

What do you think is going to happen eventually? You are going to give in to the temptation because those images are ingrained in your mind from you paying attention to them all day long.

4. Visualize yourself with your goals and dreams. Imagine what it would feel like to obtain your goals and dreams. Pretend that you are actually living your new life when you look at your vision board.

Do not just look at your board but actually feel all those wonderful feelings as you are pretending as if you’ve already obtained the goals and dreams on your vision board. What you are doing at this moment is engaging your faith.

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Remember when you were a kid and you engaged in pretend play? You were so happy and so engaged in the process of play, that you got so wrapped up in it and forgot it was just play.

You would even get into an arguement with your friends, sisters and brothers about, “it’s my red car” and neither one of you owned a car but in that moment it became real for you.

Take that same childhood naivety into your pretend play while visualizing yourself with your new life.

Romans 15:13 KJV

Now the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace in believing, that ye may abound in hope, through the power of the Holy Ghost.

5. Say the scriptures and confessions on your vision board out loud, so it sinks down into your subconscious mind and heart.6. Choose to share your vision board with people you really trust and with your purpose partners (someone who is just as invested in seeing your visions, goals and dreams come to pass)

If you do not have anyone in your life that you can share your vision board with, then keep it between you and the Heavenly Father.

7. The benefit of sharing your vision board with someone you trust and who believes in you, is to have a partner to play your childhood game with (Pretend Play).

The both of you get together and start pretending that you are driving in your Lexus 570 and you are traveling to Maui tomorrow and you gotta hurry up so that you won’t miss your flight. It’s lots of fun to do. I play this game with my husband a lot!

8. Stay away from doubting Thomas and negative Nancy. These are people who causes you to doubt, abort or cancel your dreams and goals altogether.

The moment you realize that a person is negative in an area where you are trusting God to manifest for you, shut it down and stop talking to that person about that subject! Stop sharing with them immediately.9. Never come into agreement with anyone who is speaking opposite of what you believe God to manifest in your life. You should speak back to anyone who is being negative about your dream.

Single ladies, if you want to be married, when you hear someone say there are a shortage of men, you say, in a kind manner (you do not have to be rude), girl men are plentiful and besides, I only need the one that God hand picked just for me.

10. Always pray to the Heavenly Father and ask for guidance as you navigate to your new life.

Ask Him to give you His best in every situation and detach from the outcome.
Don’t try and figure out how it is going to happen. Your job is to believe and trust God.11. Read books and look at testimonies online of others who have obtain their dreams in the areas you want to obtain yours. This will keep your faith engaged in your goals and dreams.

12. When the spirit of truth prompt your heart to do something towards your dreams and goals, take fast actions.

13. Lastly, you never talk against the things you believe to happen for you on your vision board by doubting because it will take longer to come or not come to pass at all.

James 1:6-7

But let him ask in faith, nothing wavering. For he that wavereth is like a wave of the sea driven with the wind and tossed. For let not that man think that he shall receive any thing of the Lord

These are my 13 principles I use to manifest my goals and dreams on my vision board. Now go and create you a masterpiece Vision Board.

Would love to connect with you and hear from you. Leave a comment and subscribe to Breakthrough Blog 4 Women. Follow me on social media by clicking my links down below. To follow me on Instagram click here.

Coach Angie!

http://www.noboudariesbtc.com

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God’s Way verses the World’s Way On Money and Debt

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Today I want share with you a biblical perspective on how we (believers of the Bible) should handle our finances. I also want to do a comparison of how we’ve always been taught by the world’s system to handle our finances, verse God’s way of handling our finances. I will also expose the truth about debt from a Biblical perspective.

I must warn you that if you have been living with credit cards, and getting loans for everything you own and paying monthly payments on your possessions, this is going to shake your confidence because what I am about to expose you to right now, probably goes against everything you’ve been taught and everything you know about money and debt. It takes having real trust in the Heavenly Father to handle your money the Biblical way, verse the world’s way.

You will find out that when the rug is pulled out from under you, and what I mean by that is, when all of your options are taken away from you to use other people’s money to fund your material possessions and your dreams, that your security has been in the world’s system and not in God’s system. True financial security comes when you owe no man but to love him, false security comes when you are a slave to the lender and have borrowed the lender’s money to fund your dreams or your possessions.

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I want you to know this blog post is all about me as well, I don’t get a pass. I was hesitant to release this blog post because I didn’t want to sound like I had it all together. My husband and I are still working towards handling our finances the way the Bible instructs us to. It’s hard and tempting, going back and forth and dancing with what the world offers you, verses taking a stand to handle your money God’s way. I am not judging you and I do not have it all together, but my husband and I are working on a better financial future. I have been released to release this blog post, in the hopes of getting believers of the Bible to see the truth verses a lie on how we been taught to handle our finances.

Just because the world deems it normal to take out loans of every kind, apply for credit cards, make vows, pledges, give money and possessions without truly looking at all the other bills you owe or counting up the cost, do not make it the Biblical thing to do.

We live in a country where debt is supreme, but what I am learning from a biblical perspective is that Cash is King. If you do not have the money in your possession to fund it, then you save up for it and pay cash or you live without it, or God will bless you with it through someone else, instead of becoming a slave to the lender and borrowing it. Now I know we are taught about good debt and bad debt, like borrowing money to fund your degree, a home and business but from a Biblical perspective all debt is bad.

I know most people have no other option but to borrow funds for their schooling, home and business, it will help put them in a better financial situation. But even in these cases, you are still a slave to lender until you set yourself free from the snare of the fowler, you are not exempt, neither are you the exception to the rule when it comes to handling your finances the biblical way.

Any debt from a biblical perspective is being a slave to the lender. This article is only talking about what the bible has to say about money.

Now I love Dave Ramsey philosophy about money because it comes from a biblical view and after listening to his talk on money, it is a goal of mine to adopt a biblical perspective on how I handle my finances.

Now let us dispel, expose and learn some truths about money from a biblical perspective verses the world’s perspective. Click this link to learn 250 Bible verses about money.

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1. Debt : a state of being under obligation to pay or repay someone or something in return for something received : a state of owing deeply in debt to creditors.

The world offers us so many ways to get ourselves into debt, like credit cards, car loan, mortgage loan, business loan, payday loan, furniture loan, appliances loan, co-signing for some one else’s debt, making pledges, student loan, banks are offering a program where you can borrow against your own money therefore making you in debt to yourself while they are making interest off of your money, and if you forfeit the rules that they established for you to borrow against your own money, your money becomes the bank money and you loose your money to the bank. Leasing cell phone, borrowing money from friends, families and foes. It is so easy to get into debt.

Now let’s read what God thinks about all of this, put your seat belt on, you are about to see things in the word of God that you probably have never seen before.

This is God’s will for his people:

Deuteronomy 15:6
For the Lord your God will bless you as He has promised you, and you will lend to many nations, but you will not borrow; and you will rule over many nations, but they will not rule over you.

Deuteronomy 28:12
The Lord will open for you His good storehouse, the heavens, to give rain to your land in its season and to bless all the work of your hand; and you shall lend to many nations, but you shall not borrow.

God said, when we are trusting in him and live our lives after his ways, He would bless us and we will lend to many nations, BUT YOU WILL NOT BORROW, we will rule over nations, but they will not rule over you. God said he will open up his good store house, the heavens, to give us rain to our land in its season, and to bless the works our hands, and you SHALL LEND TO MANY NATIONS BUT YOU SHALL NOT BORROW! 

Now tell me, how are we going to be lenders, if we are borrowing other people’s money?

We have disqualified ourselves from this scripture when we borrow money because God’s tells his people that they will lend and not borrow, this is our covenant right with God. Every time we get ourselves into debt we forfeit this covenant.

In fact Proverbs 22:7 tells us,

Proverbs 22:7
The rich rules over the poor, and the borrower becomes the lender’s slave.

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Anytime you take on a loan, borrow money from someone or make a vow to someone to give them something, whether you’ve signed your name on the dotted line by saying you are going to pay this money back or you’ve entered into an oath or agreement or a pledge with your mouth, you have now become that person or institute slave!

They now rule over you, from this scripture they are the ones that are rich, now you are the one who is poor because you did not have the cash in your hand or in your bank account to pay for the items you wanted at the time the full amount of payment was needed.

The Bible has a lot to say about a person who borrows money from others and do not pay it back, the Bible cause that person wicked!

Psalm 37:21
The wicked borrows and does not pay back, but the righteous is gracious and gives.

But in that same verse, it talks about the righteous is gracious and gives. Righteous people are principle people, they are courteous and kind. They desire to help others. They think about how their actions effect others and their family. Righteous people do things the way the Bible instructs them to. They count up the cost before entering into covenants. They are people of integrity. They rather not live above their means. They give because they have enough to give without robbing peter to pay Paul. (This is my take on it.)

Exodus 22:14
If a man borrows anything from his neighbor, and it is injured or dies while its owner is not with it, he shall make full restitution.

We live in a time where people words have lost it’s power, now you have to get things in writing. Years ago you can do a handshake and believe what the other person tells you when you loan them money, clothing and your car etc. As believers, the Bible tells us if we borrow anything from anyone, and it gets damaged, lost or stolen, we are to make full restitution of what we borrowed. If we do not make good on the word or our vow, we are considered wicked!

Lets look at what the scripture say in the Bible about making an oath, pledge or a vow.

Proverbs 17:18 ESV One who lacks sense gives a pledge and puts up security in the presence of his neighbor

Proverbs 17:18 ISV A man who lacks sense cosigns a loan, becoming a guarantor for his neighbor.

When we co-sign for other people to enter into debt, the Bible says we lack sense! That person is not credit worthy or they could have gotten the loan themselves. If they do not pay their debt, that debt now becomes yours because you’ve made a vow to the lenders stating, “I will pay off their car, house or item if they don’t honor their vow with you.”

What is a Pledge?

1. a formal or solemn promise or agreement, esp to do or refrain from doing something.

2. collateral for the payment of a debt or the performance of an obligation the condition of being collateral (esp in the phrase in pledge).

3. a sign, token, or indication: the gift is a pledge of their sincerity.

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This is the only thing from scripture that a follower of Christ is suppose to owe a person.

Romans 13:8
Owe nothing to anyone except to love one another; for he who loves his neighbor has fulfilled the law.

Let us read the scriptures about borrowing money

Psalm 37:21
The wicked borrows and does not pay back, but the righteous is gracious and gives.

2 Kings 4:7
Then she came and told the man of God. And he said, “Go, sell the oil and pay your debt, and you and your sons can live on the rest.”

The world sends us messages, mail and even encourages us to get into debt. They make it so easy for us we to qualify for a loan to purchase the things that we want. They don’t care about your previous history of filing for chapter 13 and your poor credit history. They have created programs designed just for people with a bad money history.

Colossians 2:8 ESV See to it that no one takes you captive by philosophy and empty deceit, according to human tradition, according to the elemental spirits of the world, and not according to Christ.

God is telling us follow his ways and not the ways of the world!

Matthew 5:33 ESV “Again you have heard that it was said to those of old, ‘You shall not swear falsely, but shall perform to the Lord what you have sworn.’ But I say to you, Do not take an oath at all, either by heaven, for it is the throne of God, or by the earth, for it is his footstool, or by Jerusalem, for it is the city of the great King. And do not take an oath by your head, for you cannot make one hair white or black. Let what you say be simply ‘Yes’ or ‘No’; anything more than this comes from evil.

James 5:12 ESV But above all, my brothers, do not swear, either by heaven or by earth or by any other oath, but let your “yes” be yes and your “no” be no, so that you may not fall under condemnation.

Lets sum it all up. From these scriptures the Bible says do not make an oath, vow or pledge. When you do, it is not of God or comes from God. It is not wise. Let your yes be yes and your no be no. Anything other than your yes or no, comes from the evil one. If you have the money in your hand or bank account give it or buy it. If you don’t, do not entrap or enslave yourself by making vows, oaths or pledges. If you owe anyone or made a pledge pay your vow, or you would be considered wicked!

Would love to here from you, feel free to contribute your thoughts on this topic. Follow me on social media by clicking the tabs at the bottom of this blog post. Click this link to follow me on Instagram.

Coach Angie!

 

 

 

 

 

2 Ways To Eliminate Being Overwhelmed!

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Are you struggling with getting things done? Are you finding yourself getting behind on your daily task? Do you feel overwhelm with all the things you have going on in your life.

I want to encourage you and give you some tips on how you can conquer your day and feel super successful.

I talk a lot about people pleasing, I believe when you are not being honest with what you can honestly handle, taking on extra responsibility, and attending events you really know you shouldn’t attend, you are in people pleasing mold.

Before you can actually feel super successful, you need to sit down and get really clear about what is important you, what are you suppose to be doing at this season in your life and what is causing you to feel so overwhelmed.

day-planner-828611_1920Then, you are going to create you a strict schedule that will take the pressure off of you feeling so overwhelmed.

You are going to feel guilty about this at first, because you are used to being there for everybody else and you will feel guilty because you are going to have to tell people no.

Some people might be upset with you, and even might get offended with you, but you are going to have to be ok with that because you are now putting your health first. Feeling overwhelmed and stressed out is never good for your body or your mind. Our bodies have a way of sending us signals when we are pushing it to much.

When you are feeling anxiety in your heart, a headache because you are stressed and overwhelmed these are signals that is telling you that something needs to change in your life.

So how do you change it?

woman-391555_1920.jpg1. Disconnect From Time Wasters

Time wasters are things, people, busyness that have nothing to do with where you are trying to go in your life. It will always delay your progress from getting things done in your life.

You should have time for just relaxing, but what I am talking about here, is people who are living their life in the blind. They have no real pursuit or no real goals, neither are they focused with getting things done in their own life.

Time wasters can also be distractions. A distraction is a thing that prevents someone from giving full attention to something else. Extreme agitation of the mind or emotion.

The scripture that comes to my mind when I think of time wasters and distractions is from 1 Peter 5:8Keep a cool head. Stay alert. The Devil is poised to pounce, and would like nothing better than to catch you napping. Keep your guard up.

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Just when you have decided to live the life of your dreams or live in your purpose the enemy will try to catch you off guard to delay your progress. You must recognize the time wasters in your life. It is a set up by the enemy, he wants to catch you napping.

Time wasters come in the form of a phone call from a friend who is just calling to see how you are doing. However, they are actually trying to find out what you are doing and because they have gotten off focus, the enemy is using them to get you off focus by having you to believe that they have an urgent matter to talk about.

TV is a big time waster. Billions of people are wasting their time looking at TV while others are living their dreams, when they should be pursuing their own dreams.

Computer gadgets are another times waster, If you have to be on-line for anything, give yourself a time to get on there and a time to get off. Schedule it in your day and stick to your schedule.

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2. Schedule your day for success!

Let your time be accounted for! Every second, every minute, and every hour. Plan your day! A failure to plan can result in an ineffective day. But allow for flexibility for the suddenly. Please do not get bent out of shape if you have to detour from your list.

Make sure you get at least 3-5 things done on your list. Let them be absolute things, that absolutely must be done for that day and before you know it, your list will be completed.

Planning your day is also another way to keep time wasters out of your life and make what’s really important a top priority. Scheduling your day will ensure that you are bringing a balance in your life and making time for your important relationships, like time with the Lord, time taking care of yourself, time spent with your spouse, time spent with the kids and attention to your purpose and business.

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Here is a bonus! You can even schedule your bills for automation. That way you will never have to forget to pay another bill again resulting in more cash flow for you because you have eliminated late fees that was eating into my profit. When I started to automate my bills, it took the stress out of bill paying. I felt like life was very good. It shifted my focus to dreading to pay bills to loving to pay bills on time, which have resulted in a debt free lifestyle!

Sometimes we are looking at the big picture and wondering to ourselves how are we going to get everything done.

Well here is a sure strategy that will eliminate feelings of guilt, feelings of inadequacies, and failure. There is something about following a schedule that makes you feel super successful and secure. Statistics shows that even when you follow a schedule with your kids they feel more secure. Maybe it’s because you have set your intentions to make sure everything and everyone in your life is taken care of including yourself, and now you are giving out of the overflow of an already filled up tank.

Grab my ebook “25 Attitude You Must Have For a Breakthrough!” It is sure to  help you eliminate stress, anxiety and overwhelm out of your life.

25new1click this link to Buy Now

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Coach Angie!

http://www.noboundariesbtc.com

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Single Ladies With Children

pexels-photo-7I wanted to write a special blog post for the single ladies who have children. God’s grace extends to you. I know some of you ladies were married and conceived children with your husband but it ended in a divorce, and some of you like me, had children out of wedlock.

You are not shut out of the blessing of God. You are not disquailfied from the promises of God. God has not forgotten about you. God will send you a man after his own heart, who would love you and your children, all you have to do is believe Him and trust that there is a man, that God has for you, who will accept your children and do right by them.

I had a daughter before I meet my husband, and I wrote down in my clarity journal, that I wanted the man I married to accept my daughter, love her and treat her kindly. God blessed me with everything I asked him for.

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Children are precious to God, we are to provide them with the basic necessities in life along with stability, love, boundaries and security.

Before someone new walks into their life, it is important that you establish a good relationship with your children and you establish rules, boundaries, a routine and expectations with them before you get married. Why is this important? So your new husband will not walk into a chaotic situation and your children will know how to respect your soon to be husband.

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But it is also important that you establish rules, boundaries, and expectations with the man that is going to share a marriage covenant with you as well, so that he would know how you want to be treated and how you want your children to be treated.

When a new man enters your life, I would suggest you not expose your kids to him until you get to know his character and he have proven trust worthy to you. Another reason why I suggest you not expose him to your kids right away, because you need have an assurance that this relationship is leading to marriage. They do not need for men to be walking in and out of their lives.

Some children will challenge you when someone new has entered into your life, because they are afraid of someone taking time and attention away from them. They are afraid of someone coming in and trying to tell them what to do and disciplining them. They are afraid of the new man in your life trying to replace their father.

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Now, when you have grown kids and they are out of the house, you do not need to worry about this. They should not be trying to control your household or your relationships. But if you still have children at home living with you, rather they are little kids, teenager or young adults they need to be respectful to you and your new husband.

The fact is, you will one day be in a blended family situation and if you want to be married, I would suggest you put structure in your home now. Setting your children a bedtime routine, and putting a schedule in place with for your children, and teaching them how to be respectful to adults.

I would suggest you schedule some quality time just for them, maybe once a week or once every other week and be consistent with it, even when you get married, it would let them know that they are important to you and the quality time you guys have with each other cannot be replaced. It is ok if your new hubby wants to come, but let him know that this special quality time belongs to the kids and it is all about them.

I would suggest that you talk to them about your desire to be married so that they would know what to expect.

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Work on the relationships with their father so there will be peace in your life when your husband shows up. If you can not be at peace with him than bring in a 3rd party. A person that can intervene between to two of you, where you can drop off the kids at the 3rd party home and the father can pick up the kids there.

A little nugget I learned early on in my marriage, unless your children father is very mature and understanding, you do not allow your soon to be husband to speak for you or on your behalf with your children’s father. When it comes down to disciplining your children or even if he have children, the biological parent or the real parent should be the one to give out the consequences especially if it is a spanking.

Men do not like for another man telling him anything when it comes to his kids, egos can get in the way and cause will drama for the entire family. You want to keep the peace in your home and between your husband and their father.

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Do not include the kids in adult conversation and do not bash their father in front of them or your new husband. Kids should be kids and not made to take sides with their parents. You do not want your kids setting up resentment against you or your new husband for bashing their father or if you are the step-parent, their mother.

Set rules in your house before your husband shows up, so he will know what to expect as well. Treat your kids lovingly in front of your soon to husband so he will know how you want your kids to be treated. Work on talking to them with respect and teach them to talk to you with respect. The man in your life is watching you and studying you when you are with your kids. He is watching how your kids behave and who is actually running the show.

Some men have came into women lives and destroyed the relationship she had with her kids. Men can be jealous of the relationship you have with your kids as well, that is why you have to really get to know the man in your life, because some men are wolves in sheep clothing.

I would love to hear from you. leave comment telling me how this information have helped you. I hope this blog post was helpful and gave you more incite about being Single with children. Follow me on Instagram, twitter and Facebook 

Coach Angie!

http://www.noboundariesbtc.com

6 Principles Single Ladies Need To Have In Place To Attract Boaz/Principle #3

Hello extraordinary single lady, this is the 3rd principle of “6 PRINCIPLES SINGLE LADIES NEED TO HAVE IN PLACE TO ATTRACT BOAZ” if you are reading this blog post without learning about the 1st and 2nd principle, I suggest you stop and read the 1st and 2nd principles single ladies need to have in place to attract Boaz.

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The 3rd Principle is “Letting Go of Baggage”

Imagine carrying a duffle bag, a purse, shopping bags, and 2 big piece of luggage while walking through the airport. That would weigh you down, right? It would be to overwhelming to carry all of that travel gear by yourself. Your shoulders would be hurting, you would be out of breath, it would slow you down majorly, and you would even start to feel like you are going to pass out.

That is why they provide carts that you can pay for to help you carry your luggage. But some people do not want to spend the 5.00 to relieve themselves of the stress of carrying all of that stuff through the airport so they struggle, their back ache, they look exhausted, they are tired and they do not get to enjoy the travel experience because they are weighed down with too much stuff.

Single lady, this is what happens to you when you will not and do not allow yourself to forgive your past, a bad relationship from your past, yourself for not always making the right decision or standing up for yourself, your parents, friends, family, someone who wrongly violated your innocence, the people from an old job, and God.

It weighs you down and slow your life down. Unforgiveness is poisonous to your whole being. You experience some of the same symptoms that the people who carry the physical baggage experience, but because you carry it longer than their temporary traveling gear, it will start to effect your bones and your health.

If you are a person that struggles with unforgiveness read these scriptures to learn what the Bible says about unforgiveness, and how unforgiveness can effect your health, prayer and your happiness.

When your heart is full of bitterness, hatred, strife, and unforgiveness it keeps you in bondage to the person you are holding the unforgiveness towards. That person has control over you. Because you are feeling your thoughts up with them often. You keep playing that same tape recorder of what they done to you over and over again.

When you tell the story about what they have done to you, you tell it just like it happened yesterday. You remember everything they said to you, and how it happened to you 10 years ago. Now that is having control over your mental state. When you tell the story, you feel those same emotions just like the day it happened to you.

This unforgiveness is keeping you depressed, lonely, unhappy, sick, untrusting, bitterness, self pity, in bondage to emotional eating, from unanswered prayer and

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It is time to let it go!

Mark 11:25 – And when ye stand praying, forgive, if ye have ought against any: that your Father also which is in heaven may forgive you your trespasses.

No longer can you allow this sin to rule over you because it is trying to destroy your future. When you forgive the person you are doing it for your own sake, your own happiness and for your future.

Thoughts are powerful, that is why you need to gain control over them, because they are shaping your future.

You are asking for God to constantly forgive you, but you are refusing to forgive others. God says in

Matthew 18:23-35 “Therefore, the Kingdom of Heaven can be compared to a king who decided to bring his accounts up to date with servants who had borrowed money from him. In the process, one of his debtors was brought in who owed him millions of dollars. He couldn’t pay, so his master ordered that he be sold—along with his wife, his children, and everything he owned—to pay the debt. “But the man fell down before his master and begged him, ‘Please, be patient with me, and I will pay it all. Then his master was filled with pity for him, and he released him and forgave his debt.

“But when the man left the king, he went to a fellow servant who owed him a few thousand dollars. He grabbed him by the throat and demanded instant payment. “His fellow servant fell down before him and begged for a little more time. ‘Be patient with me, and I will pay it,’ he pleaded. But his creditor wouldn’t wait. He had the man arrested and put in prison until the debt could be paid in full. “When some of the other servants saw this, they were very upset.

They went to the king and told him everything that had happened. Then the king called in the man he had forgiven and said, ‘You evil servant! I forgave you that tremendous debt because you pleaded with me. Shouldn’t you have mercy on your fellow servant, just as I had mercy on you? Then the angry king sent the man to prison to be tortured until he had paid his entire debt. “That’s what my heavenly Father will do to you if you refuse to forgive your brothers and sisters from your heart.”

I know it was very painful what happened to you, but you have escaped it, now escape it out of your thoughts. It is ok to forgive them.

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Say this prayer, Lord I forgive myself for any wrong choices that I have made in my past, I forgive myself for not taking care of myself, I forgive myself for not being perfect, I forgive everyone and everything that has ever hurt me and rejected me, I forgive you God for not protecting me from being violated from others, I forgive all the people that has hurt me or cause harm to me, I forgive my parents for not loving me the way I needed to be loved, I forgive my old job and the people that was at that job, I forgive any past relationship an friendships that have wronged me, hurt me, or rejected me in Jesus name Amen.

Now what is going to happen, as you are on your forgiveness journey, you are going to have those old thoughts trying to come back and get you to think on what happen to you in the past. You will have to catch those thoughts before they enter into your mind. When you have realized that you have allowed them to enter, you will have to speak to those thoughts and say out loud, I have already forgiven myself, God and those people. I reject you out of my thoughts. Then you start singing uplifting song, to replace the negative thoughts so you can continue to think on great things.

Baggage is not just unforgiveness, Baggage comes in all kinds of forms like jealously, envy, Gossip, strife, competitiveness, comparison, rejection, addictions and sexual sins.

I will touch on these subjects in the next blog post because I realize that I will not be able to cover these subjects in one single blog post. These subjects are dead weight and can stop you from entering into the promises for our life. Some people have never been taught on how to deal with these issues. They will try and over take you if not dealt with. I want to expose them and how they can stop you from feeling confident, creating a beautiful life, prevent you from walking into your future and hinder your prayers from being answered.

I would love to hear from you, leave a comment letting me know your thoughts about this blog post. Don’t forget to subscribe to Breakthrough Blog 4 Women to receive the other 4 principles to 6 Principles Single Ladies need to a have in place to attract Boaz. Follow me on my Social Media platforms FaceBook Twitter and Instagram.

Coach Angie!

http://www.noboundariesbtc.com

 

 

6 Principles Single Ladies Need To Have In Place To Attract Boaz!/Principle #2

Hello extraordinary single lady, this is the 2nd principle of “6 PRINCIPLES SINGLE LADIES NEED TO HAVE IN PLACE TO ATTRACT BOAZ” if you are reading this blog post without learning about the 1st principle, I suggest you stop and read the 1st principle single ladies need to have in place to attract Boaz.

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The 2nd principle is, “Enjoying Your Own Company”

When your husband shows up, he needs you, to have a life of your own.

I think far too long, women look to a man to rescue her from her circumstances, rescue her from loneliness and rescue her from herself. Some women look to a man to validate their self-worth.

The only life force that have the ability to validate you is God and yourself.

We will seek validation from the people that are important to us like our parents, siblings and friends. But what if you do not get the validation that you are looking for from the people in your life? Are you going to feel bad about yourself and feel bad about the things that you are doing?

This is why you can not even rely on the people that are closes to you to validate you. They may not see things like you see them.

You will have all types of reasons why people don’t and won’t give you the validation that you may be searching for. They may not have it inside of their heart to give it out to you. They may be lacking something inside of themselves. They may not want you to know that they think that much about you.

Some people do not give validation to you because they fear loosing some kind of control over you. Some people hold back giving you validation because they fear you are going to out do them. It could be because they are envious of you. It could be because they don’t know how much you really need it from them. But whatever the reason people hold back validation really doesn’t matter, because the only validation you need is God’s and yourself.

You really need to be grounded in this truth before you get married.

Today I want to teach you how to enjoy your own company. When you can enjoy your own company you become self-sufficient. You may desire to have fellowship with others, but you do not look to others to make you happy. You do not need others approval of you. You are not desperate for attention from others. You can create your own the happiness.

I am not shocked about woman looking for validation, because as little girls we grow up watching what has been displayed to us in our homes. We watched how our fathers treated our mothers and how our fathers treated us. If we did not grow up with a father in the home, we watched how our mothers relate to the men that was in her life. Little girls are always seeking some kind of validation. Whether it is from momma or daddy, we thrive off of it. If we did not get it as little girls we grow up to be grown woman still needing to be validated. We grow up still needing for someone to tell us that we are special, beautiful, lovable, awesome, smart and capable. We looked to others to make us happy.

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Were you the little girl that waited on your daddy when he said he was coming back and never did come back ? You know us girls love our daddy, and we believe anything they say to us. You gotta deal with that right now, because you will be waiting for a man when he tells you that he needs to take care of somethings in his life and put you on hold, expecting you to be there when he get back.

No my love, you deserve a man who is going to value you, be there for you and respect your time. You never ever put your life on hold for anyone you are not married to, so they can go and figure out what they want to do. A woman would think this is normal because this is what she saw her father do to her.

You will never be happy, and always be disappointed if you allow others to control your life.

You are handing your happiness in the hands of others if you are sitting around waiting for someone to share their time with you and share your awesome beautiful space. 

Were you the little girl that always needed praise and compliments and felt rejected or unloved when you did not get it. You my extraordinary sister is getting ready to snatch your power and your happiness back from the enemy of your mind. You are getting ready to implement the tools that will help you to enjoy your own company, find yourself and discover what you love. Enjoying your own company is all about you surviving without anyone breathing your air.

Are you the little girl that got anything she wanted from her daddy? You will be expecting that from your soon to be husband who at the time, might not be able to give you everything you want. If you do not deal with this now, you would think he is not making you happy.

When you have learned to enjoy your own company, take care of yourself and do the things that you love, you will not put unrealistic expectation on other people, not even your soon to be husband.

I am not saying you should not expect your soon to be husband to spend quality time with you and buy you nice gifts, what I am talking about is you feeling unhappy and waiting on others to love you, spend time with you and validate you so you can feel whole.

You should be learning how to do things by yourself, like going to the movies, it is alright to have girls night out but you should try going to the movies by yourself. You need to depend on you and God for your own happiness. Date yourself, visit the museum, go out to eat by yourself, to a nice fine dining restaurant, and dress up. Take little trips by yourself. Love your own company, Enjoy you.

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Create a space that you can not wait to come home to! This is the time you need to find out what you like. What truly makes you happy and start during more of those things.

How is the man in your life going to enjoy your company, when you do not enjoy your own company. Try turning off the electronics and just sit listening to your own breath. Play some wonderful praise music and get before the lord and dance. Get to know yourself all over again.

There are going to be times in your marriage, when your husband is not going to want to do the things that you want to do, or he might not be available to do them with you because of his work schedule, your life still goes on and he needs to see that you are not making him your happiness. That takes tons of pressure off him and even makes you more attractive to him, because he knows you are not going to be waiting around for him. He needs to know that you are not making him your little god.

When a woman flows out of fulfillment, she is not desperate for attention from another person. Though she wants her husband undivided attention at times, she do not fall apart when he is not able to give it to her. She goes to God in prayer and tell God what she needs and waits for God to answer that prayer. That woman goes by her way and pulls from the things that makes her happy.

She does not mope around desperately, waiting until someone comes along to validate her.

So what are some of the things you can do to fall in love with your life, fall in love with yourself and truly learn how to enjoy your own company.

Find out what makes you happy. Extraordinary single lady, purchase you a journal and fill it up with all of the things you want to do that you have not done yet. Don’t wait until you are married to do these things, if you can make it happen while you are single, than do it.

*Create a love list. Began to thrush out all of the things that you absolutely love and do more of it.

*Right down 10 things that you are grateful for every night and focus on one thing out of those 10 things that you are most grateful for.

*Right down all of your favorites colors, and start decorating your house, wardrobe and jewelry and everything else you can buy in these colors.

*Walk at least 30 minute a day, walking has wonderful benefits and it keeps you healthy and stress free.

*Create you a playlist on youtube of your favorite songs and dance until your heart is content.

*If you have extra cash, get yourself a spa treatment. I recommend at least once a month. If it is not in your budget, buy your own spa kit and pamper yourself once a week, you deserve it.

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*Learn something new every week and read and study that topic until your heart is content. The Library is a gigantic wealth of knowledge, and everything there is free! So you have no excuse not to learn something new.

*Take a trip by yourself and feel happy and free. See the sites, shop until you drop and then get dressed up and treat your self to a yummy delicious meal.

*Create an affirmation list, find your best scriptures and positive confessions and say them to yourself daily. You can also do mirror techniques. Look at yourself in the mirror and speak get things over yourself at least 2 times a day in the morning and before bed.

*Go to the movies and fine dining often, by yourself and with your friends.

*Do something adventurous!

*Learn how to meditate on your favorite scriptures and confessions. Just sit quietly with soft instrumental praise music and dream of having your new life.

*Declutter your environment. Create a checklist of things, people, environments, clothes and furniture that no longer serves you purpose. Donate, throw away, give way and disconnect.

*Organize your life! This can be really fun. Turn on your favorite music and clean and organize your house and everything that is in it. Bills, schedules ect.

*Create you a 100 goal list, write down things that you want to do in your life time.

*Learn how to cook and invite your friends or family or co workers over to try your new recipes.

*Learn all you can about marriage.

*Watch a wholesome comedy and laugh until you cry.

*Give your self a makeover. Practice confidence, poise and smiling.

*Practice controlling your thoughts and think your way to a happy life. Wake up renewed everyday, can’t wait to enjoy the next thing on your list. Get excited about your life and when you do, your life will be filled with exuberance.

When you began to enjoy your own company, you will become an interesting person as well as a well rounded person. There will be a new sparkle in your eyes and a renewed love for living and this will show on your face. Your life will not feel meaningless anymore, you will not look to anyone to create your happiness.

When you get married, your happiness will be in the love and security of God first, then yourself. Your perspective will be clear when it comes to who is in charge of your happiness. Happiness and positive energy attracts things and people to us, speaking negatively and feeling unhappy repeal things and people away from us.

I give you permission to enjoy your happy and beautiful life!

I would love to hear from you, leave a comment letting me know your thoughts about this blog post. Don’t forget to subscribe to Breakthrough Blog 4 Women to receive the other 4 principles to 6 Principles Single Ladies need to a have in place to attract Boaz. Follow me on my Social Media platforms FaceBook Twitter and Instagram.

6 Principles Single Ladies Need To Have In Place To Attract Boaz!/ Principle #1

There are 6 areas that I am going to cover in this series and the 1st area that I am going to cover in this blog post is all about you.

Principle #1 What you need to be and what he needs you to be

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This is a topic that is dear to my heart. Before I got married I did not always live as a Extraordinary Single Lady. I am not speaking to you because I had it all together, but I am speaking to you as a person who has struggled with some of the same things you as a beautiful single lady is struggling with.

I did some inner work that I believed helped me to prepare myself before I got married. Every principle that I share with you, I practice them. I had to, because I wanted to feel good about me. I wanted my happiness to be based in my relationship with the Lord Jesus and not in someone else making me happy, so I did a lot of inner work on me before I actually got married. I believe the inner work that I did helped me to be more confident, to know my worth and to value myself as a woman, a Christian and as a child of God.

The inner work that I did on the inside of me helped me to know that I had options and that I did not have to settle for some guy that did not line up with my morals and standards. I got to the point where I did not look to any person to make me happy. I got to the point where I enjoyed my own company.

I had so many wrong ideas about what I needed to be before I attracted a mate. Things like you have to know who to cook, be domestic, look like a model, have a banging body and have your finances in order. You know all the things you read in the magazines or you learned from the world.

Today I want to presents some new ideas to you. What if I told you it doesn’t matter the color of your skin, the shape of your body, your educational background, the things you’ve done in your past, how many kids you have, If you are a domestic diva, and if you can cook like Rachel Ray.

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What if I told you none of that matters when you want to attract the man of your dreams.

I know my title sounds catchy, but you will see that this whole message has to do with 2 things. Who God says that you are and who do you say that you are.

Today we are going to deal with your mindset! Now all of the things that I just listed in the paragraphs before are things we sometimes feel like we have to have to attract a man to us.

All of those things are additives and bonuses after you have discovered your purpose, worth and your value. They just makes your package look that much better to any potential suitor who wants to take your hand in marriage.

Now don’t get me wrong, when you value yourself as an Extraordinary Lady, you are going to want to keep your environment clean, look your best and take care of yourself financially because it do not feel good to have to rely on others to support you if you are a grown woman.

Now if you are still in college, I am not talking about you. But if you are solely relying on others to fully take care of you, it does not empower you or help you to feel confident as a woman to be relying on others. Even if you are still living at home with your parents, you need to find ways to create an income for yourself so you can have money to save and buy things you want and need. It is all about taking care of yourself mentally, physically and emotionally.

There are 6 areas that I am going to cover in this series and the 1st area that I am going to cover in this blog post is all about you.

What you need to be and what he needs you to be

to keep him interested in you and to be a challenge to him. Yes, even Christian woman. I know you are thinking if it is God there should not be any game playing, I don’t have time for games and no it is not a game. But there are somethings you need to have in place so that he knows you are not like every other woman who has allowed him to get what he want without a real commitment.

I am sure you have seen woman or perhaps yourself, that have been with a guy and have bent over backwards for him, you were the nice girl, you never really said no to him, you were the yes girl, he knew your heart was gold but he end up going with or marrying the other woman.

Why did he choose the other woman? He chose the other woman because she had something about her, that made him want to commit to her. I am only going to cover the first area in this blog post. You can subscribe to Breakthrough Blog 4 Women to read this 6 part series. I also wrote a book about this titled, “How to be an EXTRAORDINARY SINGLE LADY Principles, Values and Standards, to Have Before Your Boaz Arrives.”  The book goes more into depth and give more details about this subject, so if you want to know all of the  principles, I suggest you get a copy of the book. Just click the link in green and it will take you straight to my website where you can get a copy of the book.

What do you think set good quality woman apart from other women? It is being spiritual connected to God. So he is going to need you to have a relationship with the Lord Jesus Christ. Not a surface religious relationship with God, but a true rich God you are the air that I breathe type of relationship.

Because everything you are lacking in you right now is in God. God is the one that your true identity comes from. God created you and He knows you better than any man would ever know you.

God can make you feel whole inside. After having a true God encounter, you would never again go outside yourself looking for things and people to fulfill you. It doesn’t matter if human love did not love you the way you were meant to be loved, the only love you need to rely on is God’s love. God knew human love could not and would not sustain you. That is why he sacrificed his son Jesus on the cross for you, just to show you how valuable and worthy you are.

Now who has ever proved their love to you like that. Who has ever taken their only begotten son and sacrificed his life and died on the cross just for you? No one.

So why do we fall apart and feel rejected and not worthy when human beings do not have the capacity to love us to the standard that God loves us. No longer are you going to get validation from anyone in your life but God. And if someone compliments you, and say anything great about you, it is just a bonus to what you know to be true about yourself because your Heavenly Father already told you just how magnificent you already are.

A man needs someone to hold him accountable to be the best version of himself

Don’t get me wrong, men are just as spiritually in tuned to God as a woman is, but sometimes he is not as sensitive and intuitive as a woman may be. Sometimes a woman can make him see things in a totally different light and he will think you are amazing because he do not think like a woman.

Ladies there is something God put in a woman that is designed to help her husband but if you are not aligned with God how can you help him properly.

To help him best, your wisdom needs to come from God, and not from the world’s  wisdom. When you have God in your life you should have standards and morals. If we are reading our Bibles we should be patterning our life after the scriptures. But I do know everybody is at different levels and everyone get delivered at different times.

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I know as a single lady I struggled with this flesh, I am not telling you this because I had it all together when I was single. But the Bible is truth. It is God’s word to us, to show us how we are to conduct ourselves as Christian. I am telling you my story so you do not have to struggle in your singleness like I did. God loves us, He wants the best for your life.

The scriptures are there not to deny us of our God given desires, but the scriptures are there to protect us from using our desires in a way that will harm our spirits, emotions and our body. The scriptures are there to protect us from getting hurt from others that mean us no good and have wrong motives and intentions towards us. The scriptures are there to  protect us from strife, unforgiveness, sickness and pain and to protect us from Satan tactics.

I wished I was as focused as I am now while I was single! I am not saying this so you can stay single, but I am telling you this because I want you to know just how powerful you are  as an Extraordinary Single lady, especially if you do not have kids.

You need to have purpose

You my beautiful Extraordinary Single Lady should  be experiencing quantum leaps in your purpose. What ever that may be. You have nothing but time on your hands to go back to school, if that is what you want to do. Start your own business, if that is what God leading you to do. Your Boaz when he finds you, he need to find you being busy with purpose. So he knows that you are a woman of focus and you do not have an open door policy that he thinks your time revolves around him. He needs to know, if he wants to spend time with you, he is going to have to rearrange his schedule because you are not just going to drop everything for him. That poses as a challenge to him and make you look very markable.

You have to love and value yourself enough that you don’t loose yourself when a man shows you a little attention. Some woman give to much, to fast in relationships. You are the prize. But don’t go over board with this either because you don’t want to be so tight on schedule that you turn him off but that is another blog post. Let me stay with the message I am trying to convey.

Single lady, you can live out your purpose without distractions. You do not have to have a man on your shoulders to be in ministry. Extraordinary single lady, do not allow anyone to put limits on you! What is God putting in your heart to do! What are you passionate about? You can do it. You can devote all of your time into it becoming amazing! Take the limits off your mind. Get in God’s face and ask him what is it that you should be doing in this season of your life. Did he called you to write a book, start a ministry, be a missionary. Now is the time to fulfill your mission, your calling. Are you called to be a brand, what is it! Do it.

Do not be afraid, you have what it takes just like anyone else. Now is the time for you to dream! You have to live with purpose. You should wake up every day excited about your life. Your life should be filled with amazing purposeful things.

Do not waste anymore of your days on insignificant things, stop during things just to fill up your day because you are unhappy, unfulfilled, lonely and bored with your life. You do not have time to be getting lonely. You should be going home and can;t wait to get in your bed because your purpose has taken up most of your day.

Purpose for you could be getting your life in order, cleaning and organizing your home, trying to get your life on a schedule so you won’t be overly stressed out. Decluttering and removing unwanted items out of your life. Removing toxic people and relationships out of your life. If you have children, being present with them, making sure you have a good relationship with your children. I will be writing to the single moms in a different blog post.

You are going to have to be a woman of prayer.

There shouldn’t be a day that goes by with out communicating with God. Talk to him like a real person. Tell him everything. Ask him for everything. Go to him first before you go to anyone. Tell him what you need, and be transparent with him. Do not run from his presence when you sin. Learn how to be intimate with God. You are going to have to learn how to pray before you get married, because when you get married, you are going to stay in prayer!

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Your personalities are merging and you guys are raised up differently. You have your way of doing things and so do he. You are going to learn how to pray, so you can control your temper, you are going to learn how to pray so you can talk to your husband with respect when he says something to you that is going to hurt your feeling. You are going to need to learn how to pray to submit to his headship as the leader of your family. You are going to need to pray for discernment in certain situations. You need to learn how to listen to God’s voice in your life period.

Learn to depend and lean on God for everything. I mean everything! When your husband can’t produce a certain need for you or the family financially, you are going to have to ask God for it without putting pressure on your husband.

You gotta have standards

I want to talk more about setting standards for yourself because when you have standards you do not go for anything. What are your standards? What are those things that are non-negotiable? Our standards are a safe guard for us.

Our standards should be set for us by God and then we should have personal standards. For example, “What does the God say about premarital sex.” “What does the God say about being unequally yoked.” You are a believer of the Lord Jesus Christ and he is a believer of something else. You are a Christian but he is unsaved.

You do not smoke, but he do, is that a deal breaker for you? He is married but separated from his wife for 3 years. He is still legally married. What does the Bible say about that. He lied about having 6 children or he did not tell you he had children. What will you not put up with? Christian woman and woman who are not Christians feel like there is a shortage of men, so they are settling. Thy are tolerating anything from men. Allowing him to have a key to their house and driving their car. Why should he commit to you. You are giving him a wive statues with out the title!

You need to value yourself so much that you put up boundaries in all your relationships. You are always teaching people how to treat you. I can go on and on about this subject because this use to be me until I allow God to transform my mind. I am writing to you because I love my sisters and want to see them whole in every area in their life!.

Would love to connect with you, leave a comment telling me how this article helped you and follow me on Instagram, Facebook and Twitter

Coach Angie!

http://www.noboundariesbtc.com

Woman Who Stay To Long In Unhealthy Relationships!

When I was a little girl I fought a whole lot, I fought my cousins, the neighborhood boys, and my sisters and brothers. Some fights I won and some fights I lost.

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But to look at me today, you could not believe that Coach Angie used to throw blows.

There was something inside my heart that would not let others walk over me. There was something in my heart that knew if I didn’t stand up to fight, everyone was going to think that I was afraid to fight. I fought fights that wasn’t even my fights. I fought fights that I didn’t want to fight. I encountered some fights that I knew I had met my match! After fighting the I met my match fights, I would be worn out but none the less, I fought, even when I knew that I would loose. I would fight the person and walk away, and when I walked away, the fight was over for good.

But one day I encountered a fight that I stayed in way to long. My self-esteem was wrapped up in it, the lack of love that I had for myself was wrapped up in it, a baby was wrapped up in it. I fought back, but I felt like I lost my will to fight back strong like I had done in previous fights. This fight seemed like it was getting the best of me. I allowed myself to be disrespected, walked over, rejected and abused.

Where did it all go wrong? How did this girl who fought all the time and would not let anyone walk over her, who had the love of her mother and father, allowed herself to be taken advantage of. Why didn’t this teen girl walk away from this fight, when this fight had proven to be a fight that clearly was not healthy for her life.

Why after the first time this person put their hands on her, didn’t she end that fight once and for all? What made her go back after the first initial hit? See I fought back when ever it got physical, but the fight I was losing was mental. Why was I not mentally strong enough to walk away? Its never the physical abuse that you remember that hurt so bad, although that is not good at all, but it is the mental abuse that lingers on more.

You are saying to your self what did I do to deserve this? He say that he loves me. Then those shame voices start talking to your thoughts, do not tell anybody what happen because they are going to think you are a fool for allowing this to take place and staying with him.

This blog post is for somebody, I had a totally different fight I wanted to write about but I will be obedient and allow the Holy Spirit to use me. This paragraph is for you. But I felt like this as well going through this my teenage years. But you are going through this now!

 

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Everybody look up to you, they think you got it all together, you appear to have the perfect relationship. You appear to be strong and would not take any abuse from no one. Matter of fact, your girlfriends come to you for advice. You say to yourself, you better not tell anyone about this. Just put on make up to cover the marks left on you from him hitting you. You better not tell anybody the way he really talks to you, and treat you. But even when you do tell that one person you feel like you can trust, you do not tell them everything because you know in your heart, anyone who claims that they love you, have children with you and are married to you, should never be treated like this.

My dear sisters, you are suffering in silence. Some of you are Christians and some of you are not. You are protecting your image, you are protecting his image and if you have children with him, you are protecting the image of your children. You are breaking down inside, you have to get help. You have to get enough strength to put you and your children in a healthy environment. You are not protecting anyone involved in this abusive situation, you are doing more damage by not getting the help.

Back to my story, so why didn’t I walk away, what was I lacking inside of me? How did the enemy meander his way into my self esteem and set up a mental stronghold in my mind? Why didn’t I have enough love for myself to cut the soul tides? What did I rationalize in my mind and made this situation ok to deal with? What thoughts were the enemy feeding me to make me go back again and again? What was he telling me that made me think he loved me and things will get better? What is happening to you as well? What are you afraid of letting go? What story do you keep telling yourself?

This is why I believe I stayed to long and why other women stay to long as well

I believe at the most opportune times, at times when we are on our highs and at times when we are at our lows and when we are the most vulnerable, vulnerable could mean being on top and being at the bottom, we make decisions based on the need we are feeling at that moment or season in our life.

This was happening to me in my high school years, when I was trying to figure out who I was. My home life was shattering, both of my parents were in the home but not at home. My parents was going through a  battle of there own. I think I was looking for my life to take on some kind of meaning. High School is a time where you really feel the peer pressure. It is a time where you just want to fit in and be like everybody else.

But you can be an adult and feel peer pressure. I was comparing myself with my unhealthy environment. Where almost every girl had a boyfriend. Wondering to myself am I good enough and beautiful as the other girls, do I measure up.

When you look for someone to validate you or when you are dreaming of this perfect life and you finally receive it, you start to feel like you are on top of the world. Everything is finally going good, I have someone who say they love me. I appear to others to look like I am doing so well for myself. Why would I break that up. This feels so good right now and then you begin to make decision that you haven’t given long term thought to, like having pre-material sex and a baby is born. This was my story as a teen girl, but your story as an adult is little different.

You tell yourself as an adult but we have children together, I do not want my kids to grow up from a broken home. We pay everything together how would I take care of myself without his income or he pays for everything, I haven’t worked in 5 years. We are Christians, we do not believe in divorce because God says it is a sin. How can I walk away now, I don’t want to raise this child alone. What is others going to say? But the more you stay, the worser things are getting. And the worser you are feeling on the inside because this person that you are trying to hold on to is selfish and don’t love himself. He doesn’t know how to care for you right now, he doesn’t have the right mindset. So you are subjecting yourself and your kids to this vicious cycle of abuse.

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You will never be free until you free yourself, because there is no consequences for the perpetrator’s actions. You have to go to war on the behalf of your family. Sometimes temporary separation is needed until the family unit is stabilized and the perpetrator gets some real help and make a heart change. I am not saying divorce him if you want your family to stay together, but it can not continue the way it is going, not for you or for the kids. Go on a fast and intercede. Ask God who you can talk to. This person has to be someone without judgement and that will give you true Godly counsel.

So how was I able to walk away from that dark season in my life. I stopped being afraid of him. I started to understand what real love was. I knew I needed to do inner work on myself. I would always visualize my life being better. I started to gain my footing again. I started to feel like my old self again. I wasn’t born again at the time, but I went to church as a little girl and read the children’s bible and I knew to pray to God, so that is what I did. I would talk to God asking him to give me the strength to cut all tides and fellowship with this person. I stop accepting phone calls. I no longer put myself in this person presence. I avoided any contact with this person. I had prep talks with myself, I had them with a trusted friend. I wanted more for myself and I wanted more for my daughter.

Yes, the enemy knew he was loosing ground and tried everything to stop me, but I had God on my side. I completely moved out of the neighborhood. I no longer desire the untouchable thing. I eventually started going to church and was set free completely. Yes your perpertrator will get very angry at you at first, he will use intimidation, manipulation and control. He will probably threaten you and harm your material possession as well, but you still can not fear him. Get help if you are really afraid.

There is hope for you but you have to want to see change bad enough to do something about it. You can not go another year in an abusive situation. God can turn it around for you but you have to stop being afraid! You have to get help! God will take care of you until your storm pass. Be prepared to walk away if things do not change. Some of you are not married and have nothing to loose. This is not the man for you! But those that are married, I understand you have a lot invested in your marriage, you have to trust that God will protect you. Even if you have to go in hiding to give your husband time to get it together. No one has to know about your situation.

You do not have to tell anyone about it. But please get the help! If I can help you in anyway please feel free to reach out to me, your secret is safe with me, You can contact me on my website down below. Just go to the CONTACT link and there is a number available to you.

Would love to hear feedback from you, just leave a message in the comment section. If you know anyone that needs to read this post please share it with them.

Coach Angie

http://www.noboundariesbtc.com